Fixin' Leaks and Leeks

The Hot-Tub Fairy is stuck at an undisclosed postal facility and will not arrive. In its place, the Fixin’ Leaks and Leeks Team received a lovely hole in Alex’s tub (which was fixed), and the master bathroom shower was finally sealed and caulked correctly, so we’re grateful, but now I’m tasked with improvising a hot-tub experience with a couple of shower heads, a Pandora disco station, and a suction cup drink holder. (Stay tuned? I guess?)

Here are other things I wished for in 2020—at the very beginning—when I was half-crazed with a sense of normal well-being and possessed with a reckless and wild notion of safety:

–“Go somewhere—anywhere—on a plane during the spring or summer for vacation.” Didn’t happen. Instead, we made sourdough starter—which is still alive—yay, Team! And we whisked ourselves away to magical worlds in our living room, thanks to 90-Day Fiancé, The Killer Sofa, The Tiger King, Krampus, Get Hard, Ozark, Elf, Freaky, and Mom Goes to College. For added excitement, Nate programmed the lights in the living room to achieve different effects such as: tropical escape, starry night, spooky attic, operating room, or alien abduction.

–See an orca. While we did make it onto a ferry every once in a while, to pretend that we were on a cruise—in our car—in the car deck—and not allowed to get out, we did not see any orcas. I did, however, see a picture of one on a brand of wheat bread in the grocery store, which I had not noticed before, so I’m going to count it. Yes, I think I will count that as a sighting. It will have to do.  (We did see some starfish though on our walks by the pier, and I believe they bring good luck, so maybe, one day, an orca will pop out from underneath a starfish because that’s how I want that to happen now.)

–“Add to my collection of glass starfish and virtual racing medals within reason.” I did get two starfish this year—so that’s reasonable—and I splurged on probably about six 5K racing medals. I also finally bought some cute tops for virtual meetings because: Paper/Rock Writing Consultation is picking up business!!!  Here’s a link—feel free to share: Paper/Rock Writing Consultation

–I didn’t wish for more publications or a book or anything, because I didn’t want to “jinx” myself, but I published 15 short stories/humorous essays in literary magazines/anthologies—and a book of short stories was released in June: The Places We Haunt. I’m also grateful to Flash Fiction Magazine for bringing me on board as a proofreader and reader for the magazine. Additionally, I want to thank Headway Quarterly for allowing me to wade through the summer slush pile. Both opportunities helped me meet amazing people online, and it was a pleasure to help publish some excellent writing. Finally, Daily Drunk literary magazine has graciously allowed me to contribute adult-beverages review columns twice a month, thus exposing a new audience to the members of this Fixin’ Leaks and Leeks Team. (I think Nate is becoming a fan favorite:))

Goals for 2021:

–Really get wild and crazy “lost” in adult coloring.

–Write more book review posts. (If you have a book, I’m willing to review it. Just let me know! But be warned: My reviews might morph into a craft alert or some kind of crisis that the cat has created. Also, clowns. There might be a clown invasion. There hasn’t been one in our household for at least ten years, but I think we’re due for one any day soon.)

–Rack up more virtual race medals and glass starfish because I need more things to dust and polish.

–Go to Canada when it opens—Please, Canada! Let us in! Let us in! We promise we’ll be good and on our best behavior—and as disease-free as possible.

And now, some pearls of wisdom from this year’s blog posts:

–At lunch time, the chuckwagon rips through the house on runaway horses, leaving an aftermath of precarious towers of microwavable dishes, cutlery, and some kind of sauce.  This sort of damage only takes about 15 minutes to create.

–Used-sofa purchases should always include a thorough interrogation of the seller, with no-nonsense, cut-to-the-chase questions like the following:  How dangerous is this thing?

–With any luck, burritos and cocktails will soon poke their heads out of some soil on my window ledge and bring forth much-needed quarantine sustenance and mirth-making.

–I had to get up at least two times to get my own beer from the fridge.  Shouting, “Someone get me a beer!” didn’t help at all. This would never happen in a restaurant.

–Capturing the clover fields of Ireland and cramming them into a cookie (through the magic of food coloring), results in a fantastically unappetizing-looking bakery confection.

–It’s difficult to “quiet the mind” after viewing a link titled “11 Instant Pot Facebook Group Recipes That’ll Disturb You.”

The Fixin’ Leaks and Leeks Team (Cecilia, Nate, Alex, and SeaTac) send you all of our love! Stay safe and healthy. Many blessings to all for a peaceful, uplifting, and positive New Year!

Your Turn: What are you looking forward to this year?