Fixin' Leaks and Leeks

My shaving habits will destroy the shower. Nate tells me this after 24 years of marriage. When he does, naturally, I’m confused. What am I doing that’s threatening the very existence of our shower? How powerful are my legs? Nate must be a very lucky man. I picture him in public, saying things like, “Yes,… Continue reading Looking Sharp

Spread some corn chips on the table, shout “lunch is ready,” and watch the entire neighborhood charge through the door. Corn chips-on-the-table may be an effortless way to snack or have a meal, but it really isn’t that much harder to load them with delicious toppings as well—for a more well-rounded experience. Actually, now that… Continue reading Nachos for Lunch

Just because the Thirsty Crab is only two lanes over from the ferry traffic where you’re stuck, doesn’t mean you’ve stumbled upon a shell of a lot of luck. You probably shouldn’t get out of your car, even if the Thirsty Crab mascot is holding a pitcher of beer and pointing at it with its… Continue reading Roll Down the Windows and Play a Game: Waiting for the Ferry

Scatter a smattering of bow tie pasta onto a sheet of paper and watch the craft alarm go off on its own. You can almost feel the mad fluttering of wings as the butterflies spiral off into a green-screen type backdrop. I kind of like the “green screen,” though, since I can fill it in… Continue reading Craft Alert: Butterflies Attack

A peppy pizza with pesto, pepperoni, and pepperoncini is the perfect picker-upper for particularly peculiar days that leave you in a pickle. In other words, if you’ve had a perfectly prickly day, take it out on a mass of dough by slapping it about the kitchen counter and loading it with the following “three p’s”… Continue reading The Fixin’ Leaks and Leeks Three P’s Pizza

Icy puddles of refrigerator pee no longer take us by surprise each morning. We’ve finally done it: we’ve replaced the old fridge with a new one. For at least three years, we’ve reserved money in the budget to replace our incontinent appliance, but we’ve never used it. We just lived dangerously on the edge, saying… Continue reading Fridge on the Fritz is Gone!

Anything weighing more than a sandwich should not be loaded onto the back and lugged around—even if only for a second. I learned this rule when I threw my back out and looked around the house for easier ways to carry my laptop and notebooks. That’s when I discovered a beat-up backpack on wheels in… Continue reading Roller Bag for the Win!

A pot in our backyard birthed a pineapple. I certainly had nothing to do with it. I was working upstairs in my office, and I came outside to find Nate in the backyard, planting things, and there was this lovely pineapple plant that he brought home, and is it wrong that my first instinct was… Continue reading Hello, Pineapple!

I’ve balanced a steak in chimichurri sauce on my lap, while teetering on the edge of a wily wicker chair for the last time. We just bought sturdier furniture for the backyard, and it only took about two to three weeks to figure out what we wanted. Over the past two to three weeks, Nate… Continue reading You Okay, Captain? (Safely Installing a Fire-Pit-Type Patio Table)

When you press buttons “B” and “D,” and hold them down simultaneously, as indicated in the directions for the wristwatch you just bought, you’re supposed to be able to miraculously set the time, but that never happens. What happens is that you end up with an alarm set for 4:47 p.m. You won’t know how… Continue reading Party on My Watch