Fixin' Leaks and Leeks

Scatter a smattering of bow tie pasta onto a sheet of paper and watch the craft alarm go off on its own. You can almost feel the mad fluttering of wings as the butterflies spiral off into a green-screen type backdrop. I kind of like the “green screen,” though, since I can fill it in… Continue reading Craft Alert: Butterflies Attack

A peppy pizza with pesto, pepperoni, and pepperoncini is the perfect picker-upper for particularly peculiar days that leave you in a pickle. In other words, if you’ve had a perfectly prickly day, take it out on a mass of dough by slapping it about the kitchen counter and loading it with the following “three p’s”… Continue reading The Fixin’ Leaks and Leeks Three P’s Pizza

Icy puddles of refrigerator pee no longer take us by surprise each morning. We’ve finally done it: we’ve replaced the old fridge with a new one. For at least three years, we’ve reserved money in the budget to replace our incontinent appliance, but we’ve never used it. We just lived dangerously on the edge, saying… Continue reading Fridge on the Fritz is Gone!

Anything weighing more than a sandwich should not be loaded onto the back and lugged around—even if only for a second. I learned this rule when I threw my back out and looked around the house for easier ways to carry my laptop and notebooks. That’s when I discovered a beat-up backpack on wheels in… Continue reading Roller Bag for the Win!

A pot in our backyard birthed a pineapple. I certainly had nothing to do with it. I was working upstairs in my office, and I came outside to find Nate in the backyard, planting things, and there was this lovely pineapple plant that he brought home, and is it wrong that my first instinct was… Continue reading Hello, Pineapple!

I’ve balanced a steak in chimichurri sauce on my lap, while teetering on the edge of a wily wicker chair for the last time. We just bought sturdier furniture for the backyard, and it only took about two to three weeks to figure out what we wanted. Over the past two to three weeks, Nate… Continue reading You Okay, Captain? (Safely Installing a Fire-Pit-Type Patio Table)

When you press buttons “B” and “D,” and hold them down simultaneously, as indicated in the directions for the wristwatch you just bought, you’re supposed to be able to miraculously set the time, but that never happens. What happens is that you end up with an alarm set for 4:47 p.m. You won’t know how… Continue reading Party on My Watch

Turn that stroll around the neighborhood into headline HOA news. It’s National Get Outside Day, and, where I live, it’s somewhat cloudy, which means I need to put on my most decked-out Kentucky Derby shirt (because it’s that day too) and gallop away. National Get Outside Day isn’t just for kids and pets. Here are… Continue reading Get Out…Side

Feeling drained? So’s Renfield! But he’s not bugging out. In the movie starring Nicholas Cage as Dracula, Renfield stands up for himself as a result of joining a co-dependency support group. As a member of the support group, he can secretly identify victims to feed to his master: all the horrific partners the group members… Continue reading A Date for Renfield

If I want to pull off that effortless wrecking-ball-hit-my-kitchen look, I’ll just whip up a pie or two. And then I’ll be out of flour because I always think I need more, and that’s how I end up with dough all over the floor and a pie crust that’s crumbly, but not in a good… Continue reading I Went to a Pie and Wine Bar and Now I Want to Live There