Fixin' Leaks and Leeks

An artillery of relaxation devices arrived in the mail, and I just unleashed their powers on my sore muscles, made all wonky by a single dose of the shingles vaccine. (It has been a wild week.) In other words, I got one of those “massage guns,” which sounds like an aggressive way to practice the… Continue reading DIY Massage

Carelessly leaving Reuben sandwich ingredients near a mischievous mound of rising dough is just asking for trouble. I couldn’t figure out why, but when I’d leave the kitchen to let some dough rise, I’d come back, and the refrigerator door would be open, and the dough would look thicker, more “stuffed.” It would also be… Continue reading Find Your Inner Reuben Sandwich

The mangled pages of the books on my shelves have terrifying stories to tell. They’re spreading mostly true tales of the times I’ve just brutishly turned a giant corner of the page down to mark my spot in a book. They claim I say things like, “I bought this book, I should do what I… Continue reading Turning the Page on Messed-Up Books: Cute Magnetic Page Holders

Ripe with steep, senseless hills and weirdly shaped spaces and holes, the Fixin’ Leaks and Leeks Headquarters’ backyard resembles the outlook for 2022. However, a hot tub would make everything so much better. And, as everyone knows, the first step to getting a hot tub is developing a “landscaping budget” and placing a hot tub… Continue reading Hot Tub on the Horizon: 2021 Wrap Up

A wild chimney ride of excitement arrives back-end-first every year, and everyone stays up late to try to catch a glimpse of it, but the day before Christmas can be such a chore. For me, it’s kind of a snore-fest of wrapping presents and trying to measure carefully. Well, I say no more. Here’s what’s… Continue reading Kick Up the Day-Before-Christmas-To-Do-List

I’m crawling to the finish line, with shades on ‘cause nearby houses are competing for the most shockingly bright-lights display, which means every dive bar flashing a Miller Lite sign within a five-mile radius has officially collided with Vegas—and shined a powerfully condensed version of that disaster through my tiny kitchen window. While I’m making… Continue reading Cooky Christmas Cookie Finale—Yeaaaaaaahowzayayay!

Sometimes, the candy cane is the kid in the pageant who sings a little too loudly, does a body roll, followed by some serious arm-windmill action that knocks the wind out of the piano accompanist, who is clearly not getting paid enough to work the show. Then, that candy cane falls off the stage, landing… Continue reading Have a Sticky Christmas: Candy Cane Cookies

The ugly sweater party is about to get hit by a windstorm of chocolate flavor, thanks to these chocolate crinkle cookies. No, they are not the blinged-out ones singing karaoke, shouting nonsense about Uncle Ned as “the real Santa,” and falling into the punch bowl. These chocolate crinkle cookies are cool, subdued. They’re the silent-night-confections,… Continue reading Quiet Riot: Chocolate Crinkle Cookies

Blizzards of powdered sugar are in the forecast, and I suspect that a chef’s apron will be useless against the onslaught. So I’m donning a ski suit to breeze past gum drop forests and slide across buttered Bundt pans to land face first in a cookie jar. The first rule of landing face first in… Continue reading Cooky Cookie Christmas Countdown

Thanksgiving is a Boeing 777X, screeching to a halt, and my kitchen is the runway. The pressure is on. I’ll be starting a new job, which means that the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, I’ll begin meal preparations later than I’ve ever done before. Also, Alex invited his college friends from China to spend their first-ever Thanksgiving… Continue reading Pre-Thanksgiving Cocktail