Release the weightlifting belt from the trunk of the car. Oatmeal has arrived, and it’s swole. Protein-packed oatmeal that promises strength and a delightful chocolate chip cookie recipe found its way into the Fixin’ Leaks and Leeks kitchen, and I mistakenly believed there was actual chocolate in the oatmeal. The chocolate chip recipe on the… Continue reading How Much Oatmeal Can You Bench?
Tag: humor
Cincerely, Cinnamon
Dear Breadheads, I know what you knead. The Fixin’ Leaks and Leeks kitchen smelled sinfully cinnamony the other day, and I say sinfully because it’s not fair that I tried out a brand-new recipe the day before Nate’s colonoscopy, when he was on a clear liquid diet. But: I did leave plenty behind. In any… Continue reading Cincerely, Cinnamon
Conversation Piece
Quick Question: Is there a laminator big enough for puzzles? Asking for a friend/me ‘cause I’m hankering for the most honkin’, humongous laminator I can find. (The answer is yes, according to the internet. Laminating puzzles is a great way to make place mats and such. Oooh! I smell a bonus project! (which smells like… Continue reading Conversation Piece
Giddy-Up, Horsetails!
I can’t find my way out of the cheese aisle at Freddy’s, but I think I just found the forest moon Endor. As you can see from the feature photo for this post, I’ve accidentally stumbled upon it. Here’s how to get there: walk aimlessly through my neighborhood, take a sharp right, and then a… Continue reading Giddy-Up, Horsetails!
Is It Cake, Or…?
Is it cake or my dream vacation home? I could live in the Land of Vanilla, where gentle waves of frosting lap yellow cake shores. Also, this cake sort of kind of looks like a giant doughnut, and I don’t hate that idea, either. Here’s the thing: I didn’t really make it myself. It just… Continue reading Is It Cake, Or…?
Gettin’ Handy: Handprint Lilies
Turkeys are tired of your hands all over their bodies. The Turkey Association Against Fowl Play recently released a statement asserting that “turkey feathers are not to be used as a costume for fingers, and thumbs are no place to stick a waddle.” Besides, it’s spring. The turkeys want you to handle some lilies, instead.… Continue reading Gettin’ Handy: Handprint Lilies
Yes, You Have to Fly Over the Water to Get to Hawaii
In a flashing fit of spring fever (or actual hot flashes?), I said “aloha” to all (two) of my flower dresses and sent them, bursting-at-the-seams style, in a carry-on, headed for Hawaii. The whole thing wedged itself sturdily between my feet, under the seat in front of me. Here’s the catch: As much as I… Continue reading Yes, You Have to Fly Over the Water to Get to Hawaii
Sew What??!!
I got my mind blown in the crafts aisle at the big box store this morning. I’m doing my best to recover, but I can’t get that waffle candle project out of my mind—that will be next on my list. (Make a waffle-shaped candle that smells like waffles? L’eggo my Eggo! Here I come a… Continue reading Sew What??!!
Survival Toolkit for When Everything’s an Emergency
Fleshy faced robots, with the capability of smiling at you, could one day soon press their faces upon the window and look inside your house. I discovered this face-ripping fact this morning after casually typing “weird news” into a search, and now I can’t stop thinking about these freaky bots, but NOT in a “cool,… Continue reading Survival Toolkit for When Everything’s an Emergency
Groundhog Grub
Gussy up, rodent fans! Groundhog Day is burrowing in with powerful short legs and chiseled incisors—and I haven’t a thing to wear. What does one wear when an eleven-pound squirrel-like creature determines something so important as the weather forecast for the next six weeks? Punxsutawney Phil will be wearing a fur coat while paraded around… Continue reading Groundhog Grub
Fixin' Leaks and Leeks 