(Pencil drawing of crows by Alexander Kennedy.) To attract the mirth and excitement of a colony of crows, simply put your trash out on trash day, but make sure that the lid to the can will not close. Then, watch with delight as the crows tear apart the plastic bags and drag your trash through… Continue reading If you Want Crows, Do This

That horrible sting resulting from a “friend’s” attempt to fling a rubber band at your forehead is about 5,000 times worse when the rubber band in question is actually a strength-training contraption that’s wrapped around a chin-up bar. Since we installed a chin-up bar a few years ago in the closet of a spare bedroom,… Continue reading Stretchy Bands of Terror

To add that creepy, who-can-that-be-in-the-backyard-feeling to a cozy wintry day, build snow people who have just been stabbed in the heart and/or head. Then, pull back the curtains of the sliding glass doors near the living room, ever so slightly, and prepare yourself for endless amounts of heart-stopping fun every time you pass by to… Continue reading Things that are in my Backyard: Snow, Trees, and Bloody Valentine Snow-Humans

Fresh, colorful bowls, filled with healthy ingredients, are just the tip of something that lurks under a hunk of used dishes and about 5,000 kitchen appliances. While I’m steering the ship, I’m heading straight for it, with a beer in one hand and a crooked parsnip in the other, screaming, “I’m supposed to do what… Continue reading Use-Everything-You-Got-Bowls

Whipping up a little bistro style menu (whatever that means), sounds more like a threat than a friendly list of delicious food items, when I gather the family to make my announcement: “Tonight, I will make a restaurant-quality meal, and you will see me do it! It will be crazy and tasty and everything you… Continue reading Bistro Night Buffooneries @ the Fixin’ Leaks and Leeks Headquarters

Sliding backwards down a slippery staircase adds unnecessary excitement to the daily routine. I, for instance, have been unnecessarily excited in this manner too many times to count. Other people have noticed too—such as Nate, who suggested I get some “grippy socks.” (They’re the socks with the little plastic beads on the bottom that grip… Continue reading Grippy Socks

A leek-shaped lightning bolt whacked me in the head with an idea one day, back in 2017, when I was out flying a kite during an electrical storm in January because that’s the only way that wacky leek-y ideas will form. And here’s what I came up with: I should start a blog, and I… Continue reading Happy Birthday, Fixin’ Leaks and Leeks Blog!

Shoving against a stubborn, locked door that finally gives way, is such a relief, until you realize that, on the other side, is a cliff, and you’re sliding over the edge. The Fixin’ Leaks and Leeks Team (along with many, many others) have rung in the new year, only to discover that 2021 is still… Continue reading Nate’s 2021 Anxiety Busting Workout

The Hot-Tub Fairy is stuck at an undisclosed postal facility and will not arrive. In its place, the Fixin’ Leaks and Leeks Team received a lovely hole in Alex’s tub (which was fixed), and the master bathroom shower was finally sealed and caulked correctly, so we’re grateful, but now I’m tasked with improvising a hot-tub… Continue reading Stuck in Transit: 2020 Wrap Up

The Fixin’ Leaks and Leeks Team hung onto our nuts and butter as long as we could before cramming them into rum balls and snowballs—each one packed with exciting holiday merry mischief. I’ve run these recipes before in an earlier post a few years ago, so I’ll link to that post here: Butter Bumbles and… Continue reading Christmas Cookie Finale Extravaganza