Lavender Cocktail

Many strange and wonderful things are popping up all over the yard, such as empty fireworks droppings, colossal atomic slugs of some kind, other kinds of droppings—and lavender. It’s like a whole new world to discover each day! Of all of the things in the yard though, I’m most pleased with the lavender. (The colossal… Continue reading Lavender Cocktail

A Pledge

On the Fixin’ Leaks and Leeks blog, I have challenged Betty Crocker to throw downs and made unsubstantiated claims about the plants on my windowsill. Currently, I believe they’ve hacked into our bank account and are plotting to move to Bermuda. I’ve heard whispering—and have found search histories on my computer.  I promise to write… Continue reading A Pledge

Nachos and a Killer Sofa

Used-sofa purchases should always include a thorough interrogation of the seller, with no-nonsense, cut-to-the-chase questions like the following:  How dangerous is this thing? Has it ever attempted to eat people? If so, how many?  That’s the most important lesson I learned anyway, from watching Killer Sofa. Yes, Killer Sofa is an actual film from New… Continue reading Nachos and a Killer Sofa

Gummy Bear Popsicles

In a land where gummy bears roam free, there’s a terrible rumor that sometimes, out of nowhere, a giant hand crashes through the sky and carries the yummy peaceful creatures off to terrifying deaths.  That’s why, when you reach into a bag of gummy bears, they all kind of stick together. Their strategy is to… Continue reading Gummy Bear Popsicles