Time to Elevate

A supernatural haunting—the kind where ghosts lift my computer from my desk so my neck won’t cramp—wouldn’t be so bad. However, since my house is not haunted (yet), I’ve been using the Chicago Manual of Style to prop up my computer, which presents a problem, if I actually need to use the CMOS. So, the… Continue reading Time to Elevate

Plastic Plant Power

Desperate for attention, my writing desk flew into a rage, oozing and groaning and rattling the drawers—again for the millionth time since I bought it maybe ten years ago. No, it’s not possessed. I wish it were because then I’d know what to do. Typically, these episodes only last about a second—maybe I lose a… Continue reading Plastic Plant Power

Spicy Shrimp

Shrimplicious is the name I’ve given to the crustacean featured in a relaxation video. I turn to this video when life becomes a tornado of questionable decisions that whip around and hit me in the face at the end of the day—when all I want to do is relax. Example: Did I really step in… Continue reading Spicy Shrimp

Mimosa Time!

Hoppin’ down the bunny trail isn’t all it’s cracked up to be if a trainload of dishes and hard-boiled eggs is threatening to derail you at every turn. There’s absolutely no need to go through the holiday with hidden eggs, rotting in a forgotten corner, while the ham in the oven explodes. Just make a… Continue reading Mimosa Time!

Tips for a Scary Good Time at a Monster Truck Rally

Crawling out of my house-cocoon to see a live performance, I figured, would involve sequins, fancy shoes, a crown—perhaps velvet cushioned seats in theaters swirling with gold froufrou. I never thought I’d scroll through Facebook, find an advertisement for Monster Trucks, and shout through the house: “Nate, baby! We’re going to see Monster Trucks! Tickets… Continue reading Tips for a Scary Good Time at a Monster Truck Rally

Feel the Beat

If a musical beat traveled in a straight line, and two people were locked in an embrace, shuffling back and forth and side to side, how many minutes would it take them to collide with the wall-length mirror in the Arthur Murray Dance Studio, where they are taking lessons? Answer: Roughly 1.5 minutes on every… Continue reading Feel the Beat