The morgue is looking tasty—said no one, ever. Except maybe the day I filmed my very own horror cooking “show!” Yep. I can cross “become a horror chef” off my bucket list, for now. Here’s how it all went down: I joined the Horror Writers Association. I found an online volunteer form soliciting videos/panels for… Continue reading Recipes from the Morgue: Halloween in July-August
Meet Me by the Shrub
Woot! Woot! We’re shrubbin’ and clubbin’ here at the Fixin’ Leaks ‘n Leeks Headquarters—which potentially sounds really bad according to some random online dictionaries/searches I’ve just done, but this is what I mean: I’ve just cranked up the Yacht Rock station on Pandora, and I’m making a shrub of strawberries, sugar, and vinegar. And yes,… Continue reading Meet Me by the Shrub
Nervous Beakdown: Identifying Birds in the Yard
Dive-bombing birds are ruining my productivity. They’re flitting about with their feathery tail feathers, buzzing past my ears, and just looking so darn cute, I can’t stand it. How am I supposed to get any reading done in the backyard? And there is so much hot-girl summer reading to do. So, I’ve decided to take… Continue reading Nervous Beakdown: Identifying Birds in the Yard
Sip, Snack, Repeat
If you need beer-snacking accessories, steady yourself and maybe grip the wall for support: they’re in the bookstore. I’m not kidding. That’s where I found this “beer accessory” snack container that makes a sunhat look completely unnecessary and ridiculous. Why wear a hat when your snack dish can just be one for your beer? Or… Continue reading Sip, Snack, Repeat
Bring on the Sharks: Amity Island “Jaws” Red Wine Blend
A calamity in Amity?!! Hold my wine cozy. I’m going in. Here’s what the frenzy’s all about: something full-bodied, with hints of berries—and swimmingly fintastic—is hitting liquor stores everywhere. It’s the Amity Island Red Blend “Jaws” wine by the Fior di Sole wine company in California—and if wine glasses were boats, I’d want one as… Continue reading Bring on the Sharks: Amity Island “Jaws” Red Wine Blend
Craft Alert: Create a Sign That Keeps the Pantry Monster Away
The pantry monster is much worse than I’d ever imagined—and the craft alarm is going full blast. I managed a peek, and it looks something like a very threatening snail, octopus, crab combination (a snailcrabtopus?)—but also, very much like a bunch of overflowing boxes, cans, and canisters, stashed every which way—and growing eyes, a head,… Continue reading Craft Alert: Create a Sign That Keeps the Pantry Monster Away
Strawberry Snacking Cake Scandal
Strawberry Shortcake called. She wants her house back, but I turned it into a cake. I did leave a note on the windshield of her berry-mobile, parked outside on her lot: “Excuse me. I’m so sorry, but I needed to borrow your strawberry house. It’s now in such a condition that I can’t return it.… Continue reading Strawberry Snacking Cake Scandal
Pass the Plate, Hold the Cone
Smearing ice cream on a plate, in a swirly fashion, is like yoga for the inner child who just dropped a frozen treat on the sidewalk but found Savasana instead. Smeared ice cream on a plate, it turns out, is also highly artistic. It creates a textured look for summery-looking photographs, which won’t detract too… Continue reading Pass the Plate, Hold the Cone
Handle This: New Pots and Pans
If my pots and pans were cats, they’d be on their ninth life, their handles/tails dangling curiously close to hot, boiling danger. Still, I figured those pots and pans would have a little more life left in them—one more roll in the catnip, perhaps—but Nate disagreed. One day, while I was lifting a pot of… Continue reading Handle This: New Pots and Pans
Oh, What a Filling! “Dubai” Chocolate from Costco
Voluptuous viral victuals thrust themselves in my face on Instagram daily, but I usually just move on. Until I met the Dubai chocolate bar. Yes, I’m late to the party, but that’s how much control I’ve shown—and I can’t anymore. I’ve watched so many videos of people cracking open these chocolate bars on social media—and… Continue reading Oh, What a Filling! “Dubai” Chocolate from Costco
Fixin' Leaks and Leeks 