The clouds above the Greater Seattle area—in an evil attempt to create a “gag gift—” shaped themselves into one gigantic dark bladder that has burst forth all over the place for days on end. The meteorologists have called this event an “atmospheric river,” which sounds nice, but even the salmon are waterlogged. This atmospheric river… Continue reading Citrus and Veggie Chicken Bowl of Healthy Loveliness (CVCBHL)
My Orca
By the time a Pacific Northwest wind and rainstorm tossed a child’s painting onto my doorstep, the resulting portrait of “My Dad” looked like an abstract carnival hit warp speed and collided with a tornado. Yes, one could interpret many messages about “My Dad,” such as the following: Dad is a busy circus performer with… Continue reading My Orca
A Leaky Cat Leads to Leaks
The cat sprung a leak the other night—all over the floor outside of his litter box. When I discovered the leak, the evidence was still warm and salmon-smelling. I was thoroughly disgusted. . . until I saw the paw marks. Oh, the horror! SeaTac the cat was spreading the leak all over the house. “Get… Continue reading A Leaky Cat Leads to Leaks
Shrimp and Tomato Pasta
At an undisclosed location under the sea, the members of the Spotted Prawn Association of Totally Yummy Cuisine (SPATYC), met and discussed ways in which they could be even more delicious than they already are. A brief transcript, secured by rather questionable means, has somehow miraculously been “found” and published for the first time on… Continue reading Shrimp and Tomato Pasta
The Power of Chobani Yogurt
If sailing on silken waves of vanilla and blackberries seems like a far-fetched dream, it’s not. Simply stick a spoon into a 5.3-ounce cup of Chobani blackberry fat free Greek yogurt, and you’ll be aboard a luxury ship, cruising alongside delicious fluffy dolphins, full of live and active yogurt cultures. I set sail on this… Continue reading The Power of Chobani Yogurt
Birthday Strategy for Years To Come: Comedy Improv
Bowling, my birthday activity last year, was a thrilling, rockin’, star-of-the-show experience that I wasn’t sure I could effectively re-create this year, so I didn’t even try. Don’t get me wrong. I love throwing down five-pounders and watching those gutters scream in terror because of the sheer force with which my aim veers off course,… Continue reading Birthday Strategy for Years To Come: Comedy Improv
Hot Tub? What Hot Tub? –Goals for 2020
The extra sudsy super-sized swim-o-matic hot tub that shoots laser beams and disco glitter never arrived in 2019. (Neighbors within at least a five-mile radius are probably grateful.) However, the brand-new garbage disposal, which I did get, is a very good consolation prize. The garbage disposal that came with the house was stinky and gross. … Continue reading Hot Tub? What Hot Tub? –Goals for 2020
