My underpants helped me lose a humorous writing contest in a most spectacular way. This year’s Erma Bombeck Writing Contest, which would be judged by THE Dave Barry—for a few lucky finalists—prompted me to write about the time my underpants were destroyed. I laughed while I wrote. I laughed when I read the essay out loud to Nate and Alex. I laughed when I hit “send” to the judges of the contest. Yet, I was not laughing when I got a rather short, matter-of-fact notice a few months later that the winners had been picked and I wasn’t one of them.
“This rejection notice is really short and it’s not very funny in tone at all. Shouldn’t the rejection notices of humorous essay contests at least be somewhat silly?” I asked Nate.
“I’m sorry, honey. If it’s any consolation, I think your underpants are funny.”
“Thanks,” I said, as I contemplated the horrific thought of what I’d just done: I’d basically taken my underpants and thrown them onto the desks of THE Dave Barry and THE late Erma Bombeck and they threw them right back. However, I really believed in my underpants. I really believed they were funny, so I found a new place to send the essay and it was accepted for publication.
Now, I know what you’re thinking: “This is a DIY blog. Will you give any actual ideas for recycling underpants?” The answer is: Yes. I’m including the link to the publication and if you read all the way to the end, you’ll find a very useful tip. Here’s a hint: It involves just a touch of glitter.
I also sent the link to my parents because I thought they’d have a good laugh, and they’re very excited to read it, but I’m wondering if they’re thinking that they’ve raised the kind of woman who would throw her underpants at THE Dave Barry and THE late Erma Bombeck and now THE entire internet. The answer is: Yes. I’m that woman. I’m the kind of woman resourceful enough to find a home for ruined, rejected underpants—and that home is Headstuff Magazine in Ireland. ¡Viva Ireland!
Here’s the link. Enjoy: “Surviving the Underpants Recession of 2016.”
Your Turn: Have you ever had to face rejection? How did you handle it? Or: Your favorite thing to recycle.