
Dodging boxes of bean dip, Twinkies, sandwich meats, and snack chips—while pushing a wobbly grocery cart around—would drive practically anyone to drink. I’ve experienced horrendous shopping days when the frozen foods section looked like Marie Callender, Sara Lee, and the Jolly Green Giant threw up undigested boxes of dinners and desserts—and I had to nimbly get a wonky wheeled cart around all of them. Today was one of those days. The entire stock department at the grocery store went bonkers at 7 a.m. and filled the aisles with boxes and boxes of stuff. At one point, I found a clear aisle and had the audacity to push my cart through it. Suddenly, I heard the terrible sound of some kind of larger cart edging in on me—a gust of wind preceding its presence. I wondered if I had wandered into a subway tunnel and onto the tracks. No. It was the bread guy and he was shouting at me to get out of the way because he couldn’t slow down. I’m not sure what he thought I was supposed to do with my run-away train of germ-caked metal, but somehow, he scooted past me, and I decided that if I made it home alive, I would have some kind of celebratory drink.
The first thing I did, when I got home was park the car and hug Nate.
“I’m so glad to see you! It’s rough out there—really rough. I’m lucky I’m home—and that the groceries aren’t just lying around in the aisles, with their guts all hanging out,” I said.
“You okay?” Nate asked.
“No. I need a drink.”
“It’s 8 a.m.”
“At the grocery store, just now, I’ve lived my life like it’s 5 p.m. next Sunday night. A week’s-worth of nerves are shot. I need my pajamas and some kind of spiked apple cider drink, which I’m going to invent, right now.”
“Okay, well, I’m going to take a shower and get ready for the day. I thought we’d go to Kohl’s.”
Kohl’s sounded like a good idea, until I pictured the aisles and the parking lot on a Saturday afternoon. Hurricanes of shoppers would shred the aisles. Skirts and bras would fly. That’s probably when the bread guy would make it over there—for no reason at all—just to wreak more havoc. I’d need a stiff drink for sure.
So, I got to work. I pulled out a packet of hot apple cider mix and decided that I would only use half the packet, if I didn’t want my drink to be too sweet. Then, I poured the powder into a mug and filled it with 2/3 cup of water—heating the whole thing on “high” in the microwave for about 45 seconds. So far so good. Next, I took out the apple pie liquor and dumped about 2 ounces into the powder/water mixture. Then, I grabbed the bottle of Cinnamon Schnapps. When we moved to Washington state from Ohio three years ago, the moving van guys told us we were not allowed to take our liquor bottles with us (something about explosions? Carrying liquor across state lines? I don’t know), so we dumped what we could, including a bottle of Cinnamon Schnapps. (I had discovered that I actually liked a nip of Cinnamon Schnapps every once in a while. It’s like grown up Red Hots candies in liquid form.) However, when we got to the state of Washington, I soon realized that they sell everything here, BUT Cinnamon Schnapps. Well, just last week, that all changed, when we found this “Wine and Everything” store just a few miles from our house—and there it was: Cinnamon Schnapps. The store clerk told me that the reason why I couldn’t easily find it in any of the other grocery or liquor stores was because there wasn’t really a “demand” for it, which is a nice way of saying, “No one buys Cinnamon Schnapps. Like no one. Most people find it gross.” Well, I like it, so I poured about an ounce and a half into the drink and stirred it up.
When I sipped the drink I’d made, I thought it tasted great, but I needed a second opinion, so I found Nate—in the shower. I just walked right into the bathroom with a steaming mug of spiked apple cider and said,
“Hey, Nate. Try this drink I made.”
This was Nate’s reaction:
“No! I’m naked, and I’m washing my hair. I’m not trying a drink right now!”
I do not understand this reaction. If I were taking a shower and someone handed me a drink to taste, I would say, “Thanks! This is a great idea. Drinking in the shower—you’re clever and fun!”
So, I took a few more sips and waited on Nate. He tried the drink and said it tasted “like medicine.” I took a few more sips and decided that he was right. For this reason, I’ve adjusted the amount of Cinnamon Schnapps to about a half a teaspoon, which adds just a note of somethin’ somethin.’ Here’s the recipe:
Yield: One serving:
½ packet of hot apple cider mix
2/3 cup of water
2 ounces of apple pie liquor
½ tsp of Cinnamon Schnapps
Directions: Combine the powdered mix with the water in a mug and heat on “High” in the microwave for about 45 seconds. Add the apple pie liquor and the Schnapps. Mix well. If desired, you could serve this in a martini glass or cold as well.
Results: I was totally useless at Kohl’s. Nate had to prevent me from buying a rainbow sequined sleeveless top that I was going to pair with snowman print leggings. If you have this drink, and you must shop at Kohl’s, bring a designated driver and stylist.
Your Turn: If someone handed you a drink while you were taking a shower, would you refuse it?
Wow, I’m tasting new beverages … Thanks and cheers!
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You are welcome!
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BTW drinking the shower has been proven to be a major hazard by OSHA. It is not nearly as safe as drinking at a swim up bar in Cabo San Lucas. Look it up.
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See I am still traumatized I forgot the word “in” in my sentence.
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🙂
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😀
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Oooh! Great idea–we need a swim up bar for the hot tub:)
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My husband is Officer in Charge of drinks so assuming he appeared in the shower with one of my favourite beverages, well…………..
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Ha ha! Cheers!
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I live alone, so I guess first I would want to know a little bit about them and why they were in my apartment. But once we got that straightened out, sure, I like having beverages in uncovered mugs in the shower, the drinks last so much longer. You just have to stay aware enough, that you don’t mix up which hand is holding the shampoo.
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😀
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Yes–a random stranger offering you a drink in the shower would be unsettling to say the least. This drinking in the shower idea does come with risks, as you point out–some warnings, prominently posted in the shower might help. Cheers!
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I would definitely accept the drink! 🙂
I love apple cider.
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Yay!
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Lots of grins and giggles from this one!
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Thanks! I needed a good laugh after grocery shopping, which is stressful.
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I find ANY kind of shopping stressful!
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I didn’t know that you could even buy powdered apple cider!
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Yes–it’s wonderful! It’s called “Alpine Spiced Apple Cider” and I think you can find it in the coffee/hot chocolate/tea aisle.
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Cool! Thanks for the info! 🙂
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I would love to be offered a drink especially since gin is allowed on keto. Hold the tonic.
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Ah, yes! Gin in the bathtub–good idea!
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Nope. I would probably drop the glass, it would shatter and then I would step on the broken pieces and need to go to the hospital for stitches. 😉
Glad you survived the morning though. 🙂
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I will have to invent shower mugs/glasses especially for this occasion. Stay tuned. . .
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Nope, drinking while showering sounds like a great adventure.
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I honestly think it should become a “lifestyle” thing. I’ll bet there are entire blogs devoted to it. Cheers!
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I think you are right! I am changing my lifestyle right now with a glass of wine and a bubble bath.😊
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This sounds much more like a Jacuzzi beverage to me, same room though, so not a huge difference, and so much more comfy!
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Ah, yes–that reminds me: I need a Jacuzzi/hot tub:)
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It sounds delicious! And luckily, I hate showers, so I’ll be sippin’ mine in the bathtub:-)
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It might be safer to drink in the bathtub. Cheers!
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🥂
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This is a riot. Cinnamon Schnapps, huh? I may need to look for that. Adult red hots in liquor form sound up my alley. If someone handed me a drink while in the shower, I’d think, “It’s about darn time!”
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Thanks! I love Cinnamon Schnapps, but it is very potent–a little goes a long way.
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Noted!
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So after scrolling & reading all of these hilarious comments, I forgot what I was going to say.
Anyway, this was a very funny post! The “run-away train of germ-caked metal” literally made me LOL. Thanks for that!
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So glad you enjoyed it–cheers!
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Festive, alcoholic drink in the shower before work…”yes, please!” Sorry boss, I was taste testing this for my wife this morning. No, my dog did not eat my spreadsheet and I do not have a bridge to sell to you.”
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I know, right? 🙂
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The part about handing Nate a drink in the shower- haha!
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Thanks so much! He’s a very good sport:)
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It depends on the drink 😉
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I suppose it does:)
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THIS;
“No. I need a drink.”
“It’s 8 a.m.”
“At the grocery store, just now, I’ve lived my life like it’s 5 p.m. next Sunday night.
IS PRICELESS.
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Thanks! Glad you enjoyed it:)
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