A caffeine and sugar jolt from a can of cola has always fueled the first six raging hours of my day, which is when I:
–throw untidy couch blankets into submission.
–tell students online to “take that thesis statement by the tail, hit it against the wall, and if that doesn’t work, unplug it.”
–pound out life-changing blog posts about transforming old undergarments into lamp shades (forthcoming).
Yes—I live for the caffeine charge—the rev up—the engine going full blast. And, of course, I love sugar. I love it sooooo much. However, I know it can’t be all that good for me, so I decided to make a change today. I brewed a cup of green tea and waited for wisdom, more focused energy, and mindful blog posts.
I stared into the bottom of my cup of tea and asked, “What mysteries do you hold, Green Tea? Share them with me. I’m listening.”
Then, I gulped it down. And, I waited. . . and waited. . . and waited. I even attempted to write this blog post—and then I forgot about the laundry—and then I nearly fell asleep. That’s when I kind of got mad at the green tea—slapping my face to stay awake and pacing about the kitchen until Nate came in to make breakfast.
“It’s 9 a.m.!” I shouted. “The day is getting away from me! It’s getting away!”
Nate just looked over at me, the cup of tea I’d made, and the box of tea I’d made it from. This entire situation told its own story, which he summarized: “You bought cheap green tea.”
“Still, I’m expecting caffeine—some caffeine—something! I feel nothing! I feel like I could go to sleep—and that’s not good. That’s not good for the Fixin’ Leaks and Leeks Team. There is so much to do today!”
Nate shrugged his shoulders and Alex walked in. “Should I get my clothes together for the laundry?”
“Ugh! Laundry! I cannot. Handle. Laundry. Right. Now. Can’t you see that I’m tired and cranky? Can’t you see that this is the best time in the world for me to try to measure myself for a skort and decide which one I should buy from an online catalog?”
And, that’s what I did. I tried to measure myself for a skort and was incredibly confused and angry.
“That’s it!” I told Nate and Alex. “I just can’t live like this. I just can’t do it. I’m getting the cola.”
Oh, sweet mercy! That first sip—it was wonderful!
And now, at 9:44 a.m.:
–The laundry is in the washing machine.
–The couch blankets are on notice to straighten up.
–This blog post is almost over.
–Some kind of skort is coming in the mail from an online catalog.
–I’ve got a few hours left before I crash, so I can kick myself into lightning speed Fixin’ Leaks and Leeks mode. (Look out, lampshades and undergarments!)
Your Turn: Have you ever tried green tea? Have you tried to cut one thing out of your diet? What was it? How did you feel?