This photo shows three round crackers on a white plate. The crackers are topped with sautéed vegetables, including round zucchini slices and red and green and yellow bell pepper strips, and onion strips as well. A bit of the vegetables in a green pan are in the background. The entire placement is on a counter-top/cookstove.

Groundhog Grub

This photo shows three round crackers on a white plate. The crackers are topped with sautéed vegetables, including round zucchini slices and red and green and yellow bell pepper strips, and onion strips as well. A bit of the vegetables in a green pan are in the background. The entire placement is on a counter-top/cookstove.

Gussy up, rodent fans! Groundhog Day is burrowing in with powerful short legs and chiseled incisors—and I haven’t a thing to wear.

What does one wear when an eleven-pound squirrel-like creature determines something so important as the weather forecast for the next six weeks? Punxsutawney Phil will be wearing a fur coat while paraded around by men decked out in formal attire and top hats. That’s a lot of pressure. Also, if you look at the website for Groundhog Day, there’s an actual Groundhog Ball (WHICH IS FANCY!!!) and a Groundhog Day Banquet, which is a little more relaxed, attire-wise, unless you’re a part of the Inner Circle. Then, you have to wear the top hats and such.

Right now, I don’t need a groundhog to tell me it’s snowing, so I think winter is here to stay a while longer. That means flannel. I’ll be flitting about the house in flannel, a pair of slippers, and I’ll—and I’ll probably serve something vegetably, in honor of the groundhog, which eats vegetables.

It’s also probably only fair that I alert the neighbors that it’s gonna’ get hella loud over here because I’ll play earth-thumping techno music to draw out local groundhogs, if we have any. If we do, and they all see their shadows at once, that’s it. I’m not going out. I’ll play Jenga or winterize the indoor plants with festive scarves and hats and such. I’ll probably also eat a lot of belly-warming “groundhog grub,” which is really just some sautéed vegetables.

Groundhog Grub

½ package of frozen green, red, and yellow pepper strips—and onion

1 small zucchini sliced

1 teaspoon of olive oil

1 tablespoon of white wine vinegar

¼ teaspoon of garlic powder

¼ teaspoon of sea salt

¼ teaspoon of freshly ground black pepper

Black pepper poppyseed crackers—or any other kind of cracker you might have on hand.

Method:

Heat the oil in a small skillet over medium-high heat. Sauté the vegetables a few minutes at a higher temperature. Add the vinegar, garlic powder, salt, and pepper. Turn the temperature down a bit more and cover with a lid for about five minutes. Remove the lid and let the mixture simmer just a little more—until desired doneness. Place a spoonful of the mixture onto crackers and enjoy.

Results: Lightly seasoned vegetables have a way of chasing the shadows away. These vegetables probably don’t match the energy of a techno dance station—nor that of a Groundhog Day Ball—but they’ll make you feel like you’ve stepped into the sun, right before it goes behind the clouds again. And that will make you feel like a top-hat wearing member of the Inner Circle in no time.

Serve these with:

–An underground bunker

–A cellar full of canned beans and brandied apricots

–Reruns of past Groundhog Day celebrations in Pennsylvania

–A PowerPoint presentation of Punxsutawney Phil’s Instagram posts

–Wagonloads of top hats

–Flannel mittens

–Groundhog-shaped snacks

Your Turn: What’s your favorite way to serve vegetables?

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Published by ckennedy

Author of the DIY blog: Fixin' Leaks and Leeks. Paper/Rock Writing Consultation, Sole Proprietor.

25 thoughts on “Groundhog Grub”

  3. In the winter I eat a lot of roasted root stuff like turnips, carrots, etc and in the summer, my favorite is grilled corn and zucchini. Partly because grilling requires cold beer on hand in case the flames get too high, a dollop for the fire and one for the cook.

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  10. You have some fun traditions! I’d love to see a groundhog.

    I mostly stir-fry veggies, but in India we season them with mustard, cumin seeds and/or some lentils spluttered in hot oil. That gives it a lovely crunch and flavour.

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