Strawberry Snacking Cake Scandal

Strawberry Shortcake called. She wants her house back, but I turned it into a cake. I did leave a note on the windshield of her berry-mobile, parked outside on her lot:

“Excuse me. I’m so sorry, but I needed to borrow your strawberry house. It’s now in such a condition that I can’t return it. Please accept these coupons toward your next purchase at Total Wine & Fitness and a slice of this strawberry snacking cake, which I swear is/was not your front door.” –Best wishes, your berry (least) favorite neighbor, the Fixin’ Leaks ‘n Leeks Team Founder & CEO.

So, if you live in a strawberry house, don’t throw strawberry root weevils—of which I am one, apparently. I am that hungry strawberry root weevil, but Strawberry Shortcake had it coming.

I’ll have to admit, though: her house does make for a mighty fine snacking cake. Here’s what to do:

–Find some strawberries—don’t worry about how you find them. Sometimes, the grocery store has them, or often, they grow wild, and you can pick them. Maybe. Depends on the rules where you live. Chop them into bite-sized pieces until you have about ½ cup.

–Mix together ¾ cup of granulated sugar, ½ cup of flour, ½ tsp baking soda.

–Mix together ¾ cup of vanilla yogurt and 1 egg.

–Pour the wet ingredients into the dry ingredients and stir well. Fold in the strawberries.

–Pour the mixture into a 9-inch round baking pan/cake pan.

–Bake at 350 for 20-30 minutes.

Optional icing: stir together powdered sugar and strawberry soda and mix just until you have the consistency of icing.

Results: What a mess! The cake would not come out of the pan, but that’s okay. It was delightful! I should have let it set up a little more before digging into it, so it was a little “soupy,” but the flavors were pretty good. I could taste the sharp tanginess of the yogurt, which brought out the strawberry flavor a bit more. Pro-tip: If you make the optional icing, don’t use too much, as the sweetness will drown out the strawberry flavor.

Serve this cake with:

A truckload of whipped cream and icing
A Ferris wheel filled with jellybeans
Sprinkles of stardust kissed by jellyfish
Buckets of strawberry jam and butter
Pods of narwhals dipped in glitter, their tusks flashing rainbow-colored lasers at the sky.

In Other News: Here’s my latest Daily Drunk adult beverages column/review: Abbott Elementary Desking Episode with a Ruud Awakening Beer

Your Turn: What’s your favorite dessert ingredient?