Fixin' Leaks and Leeks

The morgue is looking tasty—said no one, ever. Except maybe the day I filmed my very own horror cooking “show!” Yep. I can cross “become a horror chef” off my bucket list, for now. Here’s how it all went down:

• I joined the Horror Writers Association.
• I found an online volunteer form soliciting videos/panels for “Halloween in July,” a fundraising event for scholarships for horror writers.
• I filled the form out in March/April with a bunch of ideas, sent it in, and forgot all about it. Didn’t save the form—or the ideas.
• Someone from the HWA contacted me late June, thanking me for my participation—and asking me for the idea I had in mind for filming a presentation in July. (I’d completely forgotten.)
• I consulted links from past panelists that included Halloween experts and Bram Stoker Award-nominated/winning authors. (Oh, the pressure! Gasp!)
• Desperate, I hit the liquor cabinet for inspiration and decided that maybe, just maybe I could pull together a video featuring classic/vintage Halloween treats, a party game, and a cocktail.

Well, the idea was a hit, and all I had to do was execute it. What you’re about to see is unedited. It’s just me, in my fuzzy slippers, in my kitchen, as Alex holds up my cellphone and attempts to film the whole thing. While I make popcorn balls, cookies, and a cocktail, the oven hums maniacally in the background, my spoon scrapes the bottom of a saucepan like fingernails on a chalkboard (this goes on forever), the lighting looks a little wonky, and I nearly choke on my own cooking.

Anyhoo, here’s the video, which clocks in at just under thirty minutes:

Recipes from the Morgue: Halloween in July

(Just in case: Here’s the link for making a pledge/donation, if you wish: Horror Writers Association Halloween in July Scholarship Fundraiser)

Things I Learned:

• Shout-out to all those influencers and chefs who eat on camera. It’s not as easy as it looks because you have to talk right after, and in my case, I didn’t want to edit, so I had to keep going.

Behind-the-Screams Rant: The cookies are quite dry. I say they’re really good in the video—and they are for the most part—but they’re also a little dry. Keep a corpse reviver on hand between bites.

• I was not prepared for how loudly I stir with a spoon. Usually, I have music cranked up in the background when I make dinner, so I never have to hear myself cook. And wow! I apologize to the rest of the Fixin’ Leaks ‘n Leeks Team who has been subjected to this torture for years.
• This is hard, y’all. It took HOURS to map this all out and think of all the tools and utensils I’d need—and practice, practice, practice.
• My favorite things that I made are the popcorn balls and the corpse reviver. I also enjoyed saying, “Dr. Andy’s Boker’s Bitters” a little too much. And now I see it was never Dr. Andy—it was Dr. Adam. Oh, well. I’m not re-filming this. Adam, Andy—whatever—these health professionals make one heck of a drink. Cheers!

Your Turn: What’s something you’ve volunteered to do lately?