Fixin' Leaks and Leeks

Hips don’t lie. We went to a luau in Hawaii and did more than our share of a hula or two. Yep, the Fixin’ Leeks ‘n Leaks Team has talked about going to a luau, but we’ve never done it. Mostly, I’ve been watching out for Nate because I went to a few luaus with my parents back in the ‘80s, and here’s what I remember: sitting in the heat outdoors and waiting a long, long time to finally see the show. Here’s what I know about Nate:

• He melts if he has to sit in the sun outside for a long time.
• He’s not a “dancer.”
• Experiences must be absolutely true to a culture and worth the money spent, in his opinion.

I wasn’t sure a luau would live up to his expectations, especially after we’d been to Fiji and had so many authentic interactions, visits to villages, and kava ceremonies that happened spontaneously, organically, and relatively free of charge. We even saw a fire dance, which is not really a part of Fijian culture, but hey, we’re not ones to turn down bonus fire dancing on a vacation.

So, I spent our time last week in Hawaii ignoring Nate every time he mentioned a luau. And then, it dawned on me that he had mentioned wanting to see a luau at least a dozen times, so I figured I should prolly pay attention. Without doing any research at all, I just walked down to the concierge at the hotel and booked a last-minute luau at a place a few steps from where we were staying.

“Hey, maybe before you book this luau, we should weigh the pros and cons?” Nate asked.

“Nope,” I said. “If we talk about it, we won’t do it. And, um…oops! I just booked it. We’re going!”

And it was worth it. The pre-game activities were fun: I threw a spear (badly), Alex took a picture with some random macaws, we learned a hula dance, we saw some kind of massive seals hanging out on shore (from a good, safe distance); we browsed through the jewelry and craft stalls and watched the Imu ceremony as the roasted pig (which smelled and looked delicious) was unearthed from its underground oven.

After the Pule Ohana (family prayer), we hit the buffet for fresh salad, shredded pork, macaroni salad, poi, taro rolls, rice, chicken, steamed vegetables, broccoli salad, Haupia (a kind of coconut gel/pudding), and chocolate cake. When we first arrived on site, we were given a free mai tai and credit for buying other alcoholic drinks or sodas/smoothies, so the food and drinks were bountiful and more than fairly priced.

The food is homey and done with a lot of love–and the staff and servers were kind and generous. Here’s Alex’s plate because mine was finished by the time I thought to take pictures:

The main show featured plenty of singing and dancing. The musicians and dancers were excellent. Authentic storytelling through song and choreography, against a backdrop of sunsets, made for a relaxing and inspiring evening (the fire dancers really brought the heat)—and of course, cheesy jokes were thrown in for good measure.  

Then suddenly, the rhythm dropped with the beat of a drum, and dancers went into the audience for volunteers to go up on stage. A beautiful dancer made a beeline for Alex—and Alex went willingly. We have evidence:

And Nate? Nate thought this luau was the best part of the whole trip, so I’m glad we went. Paradise Cove is a space dedicated to the luau experience in Ko Olina on O’ahu. It’s not a hotel or place where you can stay overnight. It’s specifically outfitted with outdoor stages, landscaping, restrooms, a kitchen, and banquet tables. But for several hours, it felt like home, like we were cherished family members.

And like real family, we thought about overstaying our welcome, hanging out near the bar, and asking random staff members if they wanted to go in on a timeshare with us—because we’re all ohana. But no. They weren’t interested. The seals on the beach weren’t, either, but we’ll always have these family pictures for the photo album. Na’u ka hau’ oli (You’re welcome.)

Your Turn: Have you ever been to a luau? Did you enjoy it?