Fixin' Leaks and Leeks

Shout it from the rooftops! The Fixin’ Leaks ‘n Leeks Headquarters has a spiffy new, rip-roaring, raise-the-roof covering to potentially empty this blog of “leaks” posts for the next twenty-five years, if all goes well. (Now that I think of it, I don’t believe I have a single “leeks” post, which is downright criminal, given the name of the blog. I must remedy that–maybe next week.)

Here’s the best part: Nate, Alex, and I did not replace the roof ourselves, even though I technically have a DIY blog and could potentially suffer shame and ridicule from hard-core DIYers who live and breathe sawdust and nails. Since I live and breathe wine, the occasional duct tape project, and any craft that takes less than five minutes to make, I wondered if I could actually take on a roofing project. Could someone like me, who falls out of the chair during chair yoga, attempt such a feat? One look at the following list of skills, and I know I can count myself out. I don’t have a shingle one:

• A desire to seek the highest places possible and stay there, long hours, doing things, without fear. (I get nervous at the top of the staircase in our two-story house.)
• The ability to climb a ladder and lift heavy things and use tools properly. (How does one plug in an air compressor for a pneumatic roofing nailer? What is a pneumatic roofing nailer?)
• Work long hours at physical labor without asking someone for a grilled cheese sandwich every two seconds.
• Understand how to install a roof bracket to prevent sliding off the roof while working.

I also performed the following highly technical online search using the keywords “Can just anyone repair a roof?” Hundreds of articles appeared within fractions of seconds, telling me that I would need to be a skilled and brave person to be able to replace my entire roof. However, the authors of the blog for This Old House were a little more encouraging, probably because their audience knows what they’re doing. So, this post, “Replacing Your Roof: A Comprehensive Guide,” is perfect for all you roof-heads out there just itching for a shingle opportunity to lay down some tarp and rip the top off someone’s house.

Can you properly identify your roof deck, ice and water shield, starter shingles, shingles, ridge caps, and ridge vents? Can you balance at awkward angles and use a roof shovel of sorts to scrape away old shingles? If so, what are you doing, sitting there? Get on someone’s roof immediately.

In short, we hired professionals, and for two days, I hunkered down while pounding and banging and scurrying and scraping carried on above me–and I was scared. Very scared. Sometimes the floor shook with all the banging and pounding. I wondered if the ceiling, or I, would crack. But you know what? The roof can take a lot of impact, which I guess is comforting to know.

And the gutters? They’re not done yet. A different set of contractors will come to our house on Monday to do all the gutter things I don’t have the guts to do.

But I feel good, knowing that the roof over the Fixin’ Leaks ‘n Leeks Team is a little more solid, protecting us as we drink our wine and attempt a mildly challenging bake-off, that may or may not end in a frantic 1-800 call to the Betty Crocker emergency line. Praise the roof.

Your Turn: How do you determine which house upkeep projects you’ll do yourself and which ones you’ll hire out?