Fixin' Leaks and Leeks

I just watched a giant Barney-shaped balloon rip open over a crowd during a past Macy’s Day Parade. And I felt it in my soul, bursting at the seams while onlookers shout, “Whoa, Whooo.” (Seriously, watch this video of balloon mishaps from Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parades of the past. A candy cane balloon deflates and falls, and the crowd appropriately reacts by shouting a disappointed, “awwww,” but one guy—there’s always one—is shouting “whooo!” like he’s just won an all-expense paid trip to the Brewseum Beer Hall or something—and that candy cane is coming with him because it’s well within reach, not a distant goal anymore.)

So look out, light poles and tree limbs, I’m holding it together as best as I can, savoring every last minute of fall and resisting the urge to just blast into Christmas—or go back to Halloween.

That’s why I bought myself some Thanksgiving activity placemats. Usually, on Thanksgiving Day, I kick myself silly trying to keep up with the Rockettes. Every year, I yell, “Hey, Nate! Hold my beer!” And he does, but also, he’s holding the car keys in case I have to go to the hospital.

Well, this year, I’m treating myself—and everyone else around me—to something much calmer, and these activity placemats really blow me away with cuteness and practicality. Seriously, I love them. Each one is full of large, very large pictures I can color in with crayons + mazes and easy word scrambles.

Here are my favorite activities from these placemats:

–Low-key scavenger hunts: You just have to look around the house for things that might already be on the table (food) or in the living room (decorations). Things I’d add to the scavenger hunt:

• dried cranberries (I always think I have them on hand, but I don’t.)
• that potato masher I always seem to lose
• Nate’s hiding spot for the good pumpkin beer with the coffee flavor
• my motivation (probably in Nate’s hiding spot for the good pumpkin beer)

–Areas to list the things/people you’re grateful for. That’s easy:

• Nate and Alex
• all the people who read this blog and respond to it—even Nate and Alex know your names because you have entered our daily conversations!
• my shrimp and potato/dumpling mini desk lamp, done in the Kawaii, cute Japanese aesthetic
• yoga pants because they’ve gotten me out of a lot of jams

–Find just five differences between two different pictures: I’m really good at this from daily practice: the living room yesterday did not have shoes strewn about, but today it does; yesterday, the dining room chair did not have a jacket draped over the back, but today it does; yesterday, the pillows on the couch were not thrown haphazardly all around, but today they are; yesterday, the trash didn’t stink, but today it does; and yesterday, there was a package of yummy rice snack crackers, but today, it’s gone.

So, yeah. I’ll be pretty busy all the way up to Thanksgiving and on Thanksgiving Day, thanks to these activity placemats. Of course, if I run out of things to do, I could add to the list:

• pull together a Rockettes-like outfit from the closet (yoga pants and a sparkly shirt?), but limit kicks to one or two
• design a giant balloon, triggered to fall apart at just the right moment, spilling glitter and paper activity placemats over a stampede of high school band members playing “Under My Umbrella,” but polka style.
• invent a “super baster” for the turkey, fashioned from the potato masher (if I ever find it), at least five basters, and some very sturdy string
• create a parade float out of empty soda cans and a lot of hope

Your Turn: Do you watch “blooper” or “epic fail” videos? Which ones are your favorites?