Fixin' Leaks and Leeks

I know my way around a football field the way I know my way around TOI-3757 b (Marshmallow Planet). Not very familiar with either. And, if asked to throw a football during an impending attack by extraterrestrial, cleat-clad linebackers, I’d set the world back by a penalty of at least sixty-six yards.

But I could figure out how to throw a Super Bowl party, which I’m not doing, but in theory, I think I could. Alex, on the other hand, has been invited to one and wants to bring something fun, so I thought, “Why not buckeyes—the peanut butter treat?”

Well, here’s why: The Buckeyes (the only football team I know) are not playing during the Super Bowl. The Super Bowl is for NFL teams, and The Ohio State Buckeyes are a college team. HOWEVER, I did find out the names of former OSU Buckeye football players for both teams playing at the Super Bowl this year: Seattle Seahawks vs. the Patriots. Here’s that roster:

• Jaxon Smith-Njigba (Seahawks)
• TreVeyon Henderson (Patriots)
• Mike Vrabel (Head Coach, Patriots)

How did Ohioans get so far away from Ohio, you might ask? It happens all the time. Whenever we travel, we always meet someone from Ohio, and one at least has been spotted on the moon. That just goes to show that most people are trying to leave Ohio any way they can. We take care packages of buckeyes with us, too—for extra protein and a rush of sugar.

So now it all ties in nicely and Alex can make the buckeyes for his party. I have a recipe my mom once used—which was all the rage at the local church bake-off. She didn’t come up with the recipe, but a friend of hers took pity on her and handed over her very own laminated recipe card. I think it makes a truckload, not sure. However, it does involve using a double boiler because this must have been before 1983, which was when my family got a microwave for melting chocolate chips and zapping pizzas.

I can’t even remember how to use a double boiler, so I’m not going to suggest that recipe for Alex, though he does have it for whenever he wants to mix things up. Instead, I found another recipe online, but I omitted the brown sugar that it calls for. According to the recipe writer, people commented that the brown sugar made the buckeyes taste gritty, though I don’t mind a little grit. Neither does a true Ohioan/Buckeye, I suppose.

In any case, here’s the link I gave Alex for making the Easy Buckeye Recipe.

Results:

These are creamy, sweet, and very peanut-buttery, just the way I remember them! Do I love them more than a Reese’s Peanut Butter cup? I’m not sure. I love Reese’s Peanut Butter cups, too, but they’re not shaped like a useless nut. So, I guess I’ll say I love buckeyes in a different way—the way I love how they seem to be staring at you, daring you to steal just a bit of the Butter Cow at the fair for your giant waffle on a stick.

Serve these with:

• A football helmet filled with a dark, stout beer
• Football-shaped marshmallows from planet TOI-3757 b
• The Bad Bunny & Green Day Half-Time Show!!!
• A highly questionable touchdown dance
• Football jerseys that say, “Tackle This!”
• Champagne, confetti, and ski goggles for protection

Your Turn: Do you like to watch sports on TV? What do you serve/eat while watching?