Fixin' Leaks and Leeks

A fuzzy furry floof of a thing found its way into our backyard, and I threw myself at it, as I was wildly in love. I totally think it felt the same way about me, too. And Nate. And our whole backyard.

The beautiful creature in question was a cat that the Universe practically placed in my lap on the eve of International Cat Day. I figured it was a sign. A good one. Because I’ve been good all year. For instance, I haven’t talked as much smack about space aliens as usual. In fact, I think I’ve reduced my space-alien smack-talking by at least fifty percent.

Yes, the cat looked amazingly well-fed, so Nate and I figured it was probably someone’s pet, but I was hoping it was an abandoned pet that I could just have. Nate tested our theory by bringing a cat toy out, which it played with immediately.

“It knows what a cat toy is. This is someone’s pet,” Nate concluded. “We can’t keep it.”

Well, I hope Nate doesn’t get rid of me because I can pass a cat toy test. I can totally pass it, paws down.

In any case, we fed it (him, Nate checked—he was neutered). After some snuggling (with the cat), I also posted his picture to the neighborhood Facebook page, asking if there was an owner, but if not…I was in love.

For a few days, no one identified as the owner of this cat, so Nate and I continued to feed him. We were going to take him to the Humane Society to find out if he had a chip, but you can’t just walk into a Humane Society with a cat in these parts. You need an appointment. And when you call to make one, there is no way to talk to a human being or leave a message.

Eventually, we found out that the owner was just two doors down from us, so we put him in a cat carrier to take him over. The owners weren’t home at the time, so we brought him back to our yard, where he seemed a little put-out at our attempts to return him in first-class style.  Also, we were out of Fancy Feast and fed him something else, which he did not like. When his owners came to get him later on that night, I think he was glad to go. We had worn out our welcome. In any case, his name is Meowscles, and this is the review we think he’d leave regarding his experience at our establishment:

Meowscles’ Review of the Fixin’ Leaks and Leeks Backyard Establishment

Atmosphere: 5/5

Food: 3/5

Service: 3/5

Price: 5/5 (It was free!)

I stumbled upon this place when I escaped through a dog door that mysteriously appeared at my house one day. It was literally just two doors down from me, and it was covered in banana trees, palm trees, flowers, and hummingbirds. I couldn’t believe my luck. It took me a while to get the servers’ attention, but eventually they saw me and greeted me warmly, feeding me excellent cat food, which I devoured. But then, they’d just go back into their house and leave me there, which was kind of rude. At one point, the waiter got into the hot tub, and I watched. It was mildly entertaining. There’s a waitress as well, but I don’t think she does much.

The next day, I really had to beg to get their attention, but it was worth it. The food was excellent, as usual. And I could linger after dinner in the bushes. That night, I left them a good tip: a dead mouse, placed prominently where they’d find it.

On the third day, things got weird. The food wasn’t as good. They fed me something that was off-brand, I think. Then, in the middle of eating, they picked me up and put me in a pet carrier, if you can believe that! I was marched right back to my home but then returned to the yard. It was incredibly confusing and insulting.

Anyhoo, I somehow ended up back at my original place, two doors down.

So, would I go back to that other shady establishment? After the pet carrier incident? Prolly.

In other news: I was interviewed on Ortensia’s blog, “Truly Madly, Ordinary Diary of a Not So Desperate Housewife.” Check it out here: A Chat Among Bloggers, Episode 14.

Your Turn: Do you have a pet? How did you find each other?