Fixin' Leaks and Leeks

High-pitched noises, followed by a smoky plastic-smelling haze, were the ominous signs that the vacuum cleaner was trying to kill the decorative throw rug in the living room. After all of these years, it looked like the vacuum cleaner might win, especially if I instructed Alex (who was vacuuming at the time) to just keep… Continue reading Destructive Devices: The Vacuum Cleaner

To jazz up my work jammies, so that I can take them from “a high-powered day in the home office” to an “evening of glamor on the sofa,” I’ve added a bit of tasteful bling from the Fred Meyer superstore’s third-grade girls’ craft department. Tucked away on pink shelves, next to unicorns and play kitchens,… Continue reading Craft Alert: Fall “Must-Have” Jewelry

At lunch time, the chuckwagon rips through the house on runaway horses, leaving an aftermath of precarious towers of microwavable dishes, cutlery, and some kind of sauce.  This sort of damage only takes about 15 minutes to create. (Even Charles Goodnight, the inventor of the chuckwagon would be appalled, and if you look at this… Continue reading Hot Lunch

A crayfish crawled out of the neighborhood stream—its little crustacean arms spread wide, its claws flared, its mouth wide open—and it looked like it was saying, “Let me in your house! I’m fun; I promise!” A neighbor snapped a picture of the whole spectacle and slapped it onto the neighborhood Facebook page. When I first… Continue reading Looking for Crustaceans

Restaurant restlessness and “where’s-my-margarita-already-it’s-my-birthday” whining can be effectively shut down with birthday-themed activity booklets. I created such a booklet just in time for a “Here’s Something Nifty: Nate turns 50” family birthday party at a Mexican restaurant.   I didn’t want any incidents to erupt if there was a long pause between the time that we… Continue reading Birthday-Themed Activity Booklet

I’ve Zoom-bombed enough of Nate’s work meetings to finally convince him to please, please “get a room.” The “nerve center” for the county finance department, is currently our kitchen/dining room, and I’m the comedy-relief backdrop. I come stumbling into the kitchen several times throughout the day, and I rip open packages of snacks and chew… Continue reading The Crafting Nook is Now Office Furniture

The kraken may be a tentacled creature that terrorizes sailors, but it makes one heck of a good beer. It’s like the kraken just reaches its menacing appendages far onto shore—and pulverizes the first grapefruit it sees, turning it into a beer with a delicate, citrusy flavor that makes me say, “Why, Kraken! I didn’t… Continue reading Crack Open a Kraken

Happy little heads of broccoli, that rise up out of the soil and sing a lovely morning song that goes, “Get up! Get up! The house is on fire! Now that you’re awake, I think I’ll eat the cat”—will NOT be joining the Fixin’ Leaks and Leeks Team any time soon.  Although a package of… Continue reading Micro-Greens on the Windowsill: Broccoli

A loud, ominous Hot Oil Alarm has been added to the Fixin’ Leaks and Leeks armory of safety protocols, and its terrifying sound would send even whales and sharks into a stupefied panic. Feel free to click on this link here, to have a listen:    (Extreme Alarm Sound Effect YouTube) If you ask me, frying… Continue reading Hot Oil Alert: Fried Pickles

The plants in the backyard have signed up for dating apps; I just know it, but they’re not very good at writing enticing profiles. For instance, I suspect that the borage plant (which is actually growing!) feels somewhat neglected and has taken matters into their own hands—signing up for Tinder and writing the following description:… Continue reading Lemonade with Blue Borage Ice Cubes