Fixin' Leaks and Leeks

There’s a junk drawer in my kitchen that’s stuffed to capacity and it just might jam when I really, really need a mint, which has probably been rolling around in Canadian coins and pencil dust for several months. The thought of this junk drawer sometimes keeps me up at night. However, the thing that really… Continue reading The Closet “Needs” a Chin-Up Bar

Potluck Panic Syndrome strikes when an email glides into the mailbox overnight to announce something to the following effect: “The High School Parents’ Swim Board is organizing the Awards Banquet. In the past, the dishes have been very, very good. Bring your best.” “Nate! What will I do? It has to be good. It has… Continue reading Curry Dressing Salad and Other Things to Bring to a Swim Potluck/Banquet

A shamrock-studded foam roller just lifts my spirits when my Irish thighs aren’t smiling. In fact, these days my thighs, legs, feet, and calf muscles aren’t “smiling” a lot because I make them run, pedal the stationary bike/elliptical machine, and do squats during the week. St. Patrick’s Day will be no exception. I’ll probably start… Continue reading Decorate a Foam Roller for St. Patrick’s Day

Precisely one Kraft caramel and one Hershey’s Kiss will fit into an artfully folded paper cup, which is terrific news if you’re planning a children’s birthday party. The children will be so distracted by the delightful paper cup that they won’t notice that they’ve been limited to two treats for an obvious reason: Any more… Continue reading Origami Madness: One Paper Cup and Two Paper Airplanes Later

  A thick pink blob of strawberries hit the mall when I was eleven years old and I willingly threw myself in its path every chance I got. After slipping quarters into the Ms. Pac-Man game, adjusting my leg warmers, and spraying my hair with an entire can of Aqua Net, I was ready to… Continue reading Make a Scurvy-Slashing Strawberry Smoothie

If mermaids and unicorns frolicked wildly in pixie-sprinkled waters, AND I dipped my nails into the aftermath, the results would be stunning. In fact, I’d venture to say that they’d be very similar to the effect you see on my nails here, in this photo: No, I didn’t get a professional manicure. I did my… Continue reading DIY Manicure: Sparkly Nails and Mermaid Tales

When clogged toilets and swim meets threaten to ruin the romance between you and your loved one, make scented heart-shaped soaps—fast. This project will have you gazing into your lover’s eyes in no time and saying things like: “This is easy and fun!” “Should we put it in the freezer?” To start steaming things up,… Continue reading Romantic Heart-Shaped Soap for Valentine’s Day

A humid, sticky, crud-ridden land of dinginess lurks beneath my kitchen sink, so conditions are ripe for angry creatures to form in the space between the trashcan and the dish soap. For this reason, I’m not going under the sink alone to fix an urgent leak. I’m taking Nate and Alex with me. It seems… Continue reading Conquering a Kitchen Sink Leak and Other Beasts

In the crowded hallways of a new planet, a male subject, age 15 approaches a group of females his age. (The male subject happens to be this researcher’s son, Alex.) The female subjects he approaches appear to be outgoing, intelligent, attractive, and funny. Alex: So, how’s your day going? Female Group Leader: Oh, my gosh!… Continue reading High School “Planet” Dance Notes: Tips for Survival

“Hold my beer; I’m going to Zumba®,” I tell Nate before driving to L.A. Fitness to take a very, very public Zumba® class. (Why do group exercise rooms in gyms have glass walls? Why?) No, this isn’t my first Zumba® rodeo. Back in 2002, I attempted to samba and salsa some post-delivery baby weight away… Continue reading I Just Zumba’d!