Sounding a craft alert on the Fourth of July in my neighborhood adds very little noise or sense of “alarm,” amid the loud, violent screams of fireworks exploding in the air, starting at 4 p.m. July 3rd. However, I thought I’d try to sound the alarm anyway, because by noon, my nerves were sufficiently rattled.
“I’m sounding the craft alert,” I told Nate. “The whole neighborhood had better pack up and leave if they want to remain safe.”
“I don’t think they care,” he replied.
As fireworks pelted our garage and front door, I realized that Nate was right. A craft that involved pasta noodles and large amounts of blue tape—no matter how sticky that tape might be—was no match for the many Roman Candles, missiles and rockets, and aerial repeaters “rehearsing” for their big, blazing moment that would send drunk neighbors running through the yards yelling, “Wooohoooo!!!!” However, I felt that making a craft would at least temporarily take my mind off the horrific images I had of my house going up in flames. And, I must say, that for at least 30-40 minutes, I hardly noticed the intermittent popping sounds outside my window. So, if you find yourself in a fireworks-crazy neighborhood next year, you too can make this “Baby, You’re a Firework!” Wreath to temporarily settle your nerves. I’ll walk you through the steps:
Step 1: The Back Story: A week or so ago, Nate and I took a very pleasant walk through the neighborhood. Nate stopped to gaze at a house along the way and he said, “Wow! Look at that giant hosta!” Except I heard: “Look at that giant pasta!” And my eyes were drawn to a wreath on the door that I thought was made of pasta. But it wasn’t. It was made of other things, but I got to wondering: Could I make a wreath of giant pasta? I figured, “Why not?” I had leftover “giant” pasta in my pantry that was getting old. The leftover lasagna noodles from Christmas Eve dinner were just begging to be made into a craft. . . .
Step 2: Begin to Imagine and Paint: Logistics are not my specialty. For that, I turn to Nate and Alex. Nate showed me how the lasagna noodles could be fanned out to create a wreath. He used about nine of the noodles, so I decided that I should paint three of them red and three of them blue. The other three could be left plain. I just painted one side of the pasta noodles and left them to dry while I did an exercise video on YouTube. (We, here at the Fixin’ Leaks and Leeks Team don’t see the sense in painting both sides of lasagna noodles.)
Step 3: Try to Remember How Nate Configured the Wreath and the Pasta Noodles: I couldn’t wait to start putting my wreath together, but I couldn’t remember what Nate did to make the lasagna noodles look like a wreath. However, Nate was unable to help me because he was icing his shoulder. He spent the morning mowing the lawn, watering it, filling up buckets with water for both the front and the back side of the house, and trying to kill wasps, which were building nests under our roof. I’m glad Nate was able to get most of the wasps because, I suppose they could serve as fodder for fireworks, and we don’t need anymore fodder. A house is fodder enough. So, I got Alex to help me out. He did a great job!
Step 4: Try to Figure out How to Hold All of the Pasta Together: Alex and I tried super glue and tape, but lasagna noodles have ridges, so they don’t create a flat surface for sticking to one another. That’s when Alex found the blue painter’s tape and tied/taped pieces of the lasagna noodles together. Then, the whole middle ring was fastened together with blue tape.
Step 5: Add Sparkle to Distract the Eye: We ended up with a big blue ring of tape in the middle that, from far away, looked kind of interesting, but up close, it looked like blue tape haphazardly stuck around lasagna noodles that had been painted blue and red.
“This looks okay,” I said. “But it could look better.”
“I know!” Alex said. “We need something sparkly.”
“Exactly,” I said, “to serve as a distraction.”
In my crafts supplies “super nook” upstairs, I found some sparkly Fourth of July beads, which we stuck to the blue tape. It looked much better then. Much better.
Important Reminders if You Make this Craft:
–Don’t boil the pasta.
–Don’t eat the wreath.
–Don’t hang the wreath on the door. It might last for a little while, but the whole thing will come crashing down—especially on the Fourth of July, despite a neighbor’s best efforts to don a glow-in-the-dark safety vest in a spectacular show of safety. Then, while wearing the safety vest, he will light fireworks in the street and smoke a cigarette at the same time. Decorative wreaths and garden gnomes don’t stand a chance.
–Sounding a craft alert on the Fourth of July goes largely unnoticed. Safety takes a vacation that day. Alerts are unnecessary. Safety vests are optional.
Your Turn: What do you like to do with leftover pasta? Have you ever worn a safety vest during a celebration?
Fixin' Leaks and Leeks 
As a dedicated Pastafarian, I applaud this decoration, ring the campanelles, and hope it inspires people to have fewer hostas (which lead to vermicelli in the soil), and more pastas. But sadly, I cannot contribute any ideas, as I never! have leftover pasta. I eat it all.
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I like “ring the campanelles.” That’s awesome! Not everyone in the world can force leftover pasta into wreath shapes, but I think there’s a special place in the DIY world for those who can definitely work the pasta lingo into a comments section like a true professional pastafarian. Thanks for stopping by!
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“Don’t boil the pasta” – you got that right!
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Yes–I can only imagine how much blue painter’s tape it would take to hold wet pasta noodles together in a wreath shape. Thanks for stopping by!
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Eat it and yes, when I was a crossing guard. 🙂
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I didn’t know you were a crossing guard! Very important job–there aren’t enough safety vests in the world! Thanks for stopping by!
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Long, long ago… in a galaxy, far away… 😉
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I’d rather crafts than fireworks too!
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Here! Here! What happens during Canada Day? Do people behave like this during Canada Day?
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Not really! Lots of communities will put on fireworks shows, but there aren’t many private ones
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I think it is too funny that you made a wreath out of pasta, but hey it works.
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I’m enjoying the overall hilarious look of this piece myself. Actually, the first look–before it’s all tied together, isn’t half bad. If I were more patient, I’d investigate other ways to get the pasta to hold together. Thanks for stopping by!
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I am not a fan of fireworks during any celebration!!! So this idea sounds perfect for refocusing the mind.
We have so many reflective vests in our house we could provide festival security. 😂
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I was just saying to Nate the other day, “We seem to have everything we need, except safety vests.” I suppose we should get some and then we could all team up with our safety vests for festival security. Thanks for stopping by!
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Since my poor dog loses her mind each year during the insanity of firework season, I love the idea of creating during this time rather than blowing stuff up. I realize how very un-American it is to NOT want to blow stuff up at this time of the year, but hey, I’m a rebel. 🙂 Love the wreath, too. VERY patriotic and edible too…….I think. 🙂
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So sorry to hear about your dog! Pets really do hate the fireworks. Our cat usually hides under the bed, but this time, he just stayed put in the middle of the living room. Except he had a very pissed off look on his face. So, I sat down next to him–with the same look on my face. I wish Nate had taken a picture:)
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I know you said noodles, but here we call them sheets, so noodles distracted me from the key word ‘lasagne’, giving me a surprise with the ‘hand to noodle’ ratio photo! Eating pasta is very good for calming nerves, so I hope you did cook some up for yourselves. 😊
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Right–lasagna sheets would be the most accurate term–we use that here too. Sorry about the confusion. I wasn’t using my “noodle” 🙂
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That just makes it even funnier 😉
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You and Alex came up with a very intriguing wreath. Kudos on that Italian Mardi Gras kinda vibe.
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Thanks! Let’s hope it survives until next year. 🙂
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Fingers crossed and a glue gun ready!
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Fun post! I eschew the safety vest during celebrations for hiding in the house and muttering, “Idiots.”
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I know what you mean! Thanks for stopping by!
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I think the pasta noodles can give those pesky fireworks a run for their money 😂
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Thanks! I’m so glad it’s all over for another year.
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Fireworks is one of the things I can do without. Read about to many accidents. It frightens pets and children.
Just my little opinion.
Hope you and yours had a wondefrul holiday.
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Yes–this is why I chose a craft instead. Nate, Alex, and I don’t like to add to the chaos. It’s already all around us. We’re just ready with hoses and buckets of water to put the fires out–if they happen. Thanks for stopping by!
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This looks really neat! I don’t think pasta ever lasts long enough in my house to have leftovers, be they cooked or uncooked, lol
And I don’t think I have ever worn a safety vest during a celebration. I did wear someone else’s (I have no idea who) coat during a NYE celebration, but I had indulged in enough champagne I’m glad I remembered where I lived! x.x
Maybe I should get myself a safety vest and wear it next time I go to any sort of large celebration!
Also, any recommendations on good exercise videos would be appreciated!
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Thanks! I should probably do a blog on all of the exercise videos I’ve watched and attempted–maybe with hand-drawn ridiculous illustrations:)
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Yes, please! I’m very supportive of this! 🙂
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I vote yes for the hand-drawn ridiculous illustrations.
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I usually eat all “pasta”, but your artcraft is fantastic 🙂
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Thanks!
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