Shoe Rack Attack

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Assembled shoe rack with shoes, in our closet. Photo by Cecilia Kennedy

Piles of cruddy, mud-caked shoes have recently hung a white sock on the entryway closet door to let us know that they are suffocating—and they are about to give up. We already knew this, but we thought we had the problem solved by closing the door and playing loud seasonal music.  (Shoes that are suffocating make groaning noises and they claw at the door. The music does nothing to soothe them, but it helps everyone else who may be bothered by distracting thoughts of a messy closet.) However, I have to admit that I’ve been cringing every time I walk by that closet, knowing what’s inside, and I am tired of crawling around on the floor in my nice clothes, looking for shoes. That’s not happening anymore.  Those cruddy shoes are going to shine like they’ve never shined before. Buying and assembling one shoe rack—possibly more—will make everything so much better.

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Shoes on the floor of our closet. Photo by Cecilia Kennedy

At the grocery store, I see a “shoe tower” that will hold 30 shoes and I think it might work, so I snap pictures of it and send them to Nate. He replies, “It’s too tall.”  So, I ask him how many pairs of shoes we have. He thinks we only have 12-15. I think he’s lying. That’s why I decide on two smaller shoe racks that will hold 20 pairs each. Nate thinks we only need one. I think the shoes have multiplied since I last saw them-and that perhaps, they are multiplying now.  By the time I buy two shoe racks, I may need four more. I must hurry.

Racing home, I fling open the front door and pull shoes out of the closet.

“What’s Mom doing? Is she okay?” Alex asks Nate. “Does she need help?”

“Nope. Don’t help her. She wants to do this one herself.”

“Seriously, is she okay?”

“Alex, I’m fine.  I have to put some shoe racks together now and I have to hurry, before there are more shoes. They are hell bent on producing more, I just know it!”

I whip out the instructions and am absolutely delighted to see the words, “Takes about 15 minutes or less” and “no tools required.” (A flathead screwdriver is actually needed. It’s not included in the instructions, but if you keep reading, you will find out why.)  Indeed, the entire package consists of two stands marked “A” and “B” (Left and Right) and about eight poles.  Still, I don’t have a good track record with directions for things that can be assembled at home.  Those directions often look like this to me:

 

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Confusing, nonsensical scribbles, arrows, and “parts” marked A, B, and C. Photo by Cecilia Kennedy

The directions that I have before me are really not that bad, except they do skip one step:  The poles are fused together at the ends, and there is no indication of how to get them apart.  Nate suggests that I try to bend and twist them apart with my bare hands, but I don’t have any luck.  Nate tries, then realizes that he could just pop the capped ends off and the poles would come out.  However, the ends are not budging.  Quickly, Nate finds a flathead screwdriver and saves the day by wedging the poles between his legs and popping off the ends with the screwdriver.  Since that figure is not drawn on the instructions pamphlet, I thought about including one here, in case you find yourself in this situation. However, I am not an illustrator, so when I tried to draw Nate with a shoe rack between his legs, it didn’t look professional at all.

Once the shoe rack poles are forced apart, it’s just a matter of pushing them into the stands and throwing out a few really nasty shoes that are beyond repair and that don’t fit. (Oh, and Nate was right. We only needed one rack. I can take the extra one back to the store.)  Now, I can place the rest of the shoes onto the rack and play seasonal music at a normal volume.  My, how those hiking boots, thick with gravel and some guy’s gum, do shine!

Your Turn:  Are you a believer in shoe racks? Discuss.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

21 thoughts on “Shoe Rack Attack

  1. I have a pair of black work boots, a pair of brown work boots, a pair of ugg boots, a pair of slippers, a pair of sneakers, a pair of dress thongs, and a pair of knock about things. No need for a rack.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I do, I do! believe in shoe racks. I dream of a sealed outdoor one that creepy-crawlies can’t sneak into. Right now I carry all shoes and boots into the house at night for fear of putting my foot into something squishy or venomous in the morning.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I have to admit I’m the worst person to talk about shoe racks. My shoe selection is as follows: one pair of flats, one pair of sneakers, one pair of high-heeled sandals and one pair of boots, all replaced as needed, but always just one pair of each, lined in the kitchen under the intercom because I always go there last before I leave the house. And one pair of flip-flops that have a sentient mind and like to play hide and seek. lol

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Funny enough, I’m not! Which’s why I own very little I can make a mess out of. But putting my shoes in there definitely saves me a lot of time and stress of wondering where I can find them! Once it became a routine, it’s made my life much less stressful! 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

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