Hot-off-the-griddle sizzling restaurant reviews, from ordinary people with access to Google, have simmered down. And I feel a bit lonely. I’d cozy up to these reviews, reading them on my lunch break. Sometimes they were enlightening. Often, they were not. (Very, very often they were not.) So, when dine-in service was replaced by takeout and delivery here recently, I thought I’d see all kinds of new reviews. Maybe there would be customers who struggled to get their containers open. Perhaps someone else would order duck and lobster and wonder why they would still have to pay “so much” for “takeout.” Oh, the silly shenanigans I was hoping to read in quarantine! But for the longest time, I saw nothing—and it was eerie. Restaurant reviews would just stop at “two months ago,” “three months ago,” “a year ago.” Some of the reviewers of those days gone by would gush over favorite servers—and name them by name. Others would complain about servers who refused to give them alcohol just because “they thought they smelled and looked drunk already.” And they would name those servers by name too. Every once in a while, a thoughtful reviewer would provide pictures and a scrumptious description of the food. I really liked those reviewers the most.
Just this past week, I’ve begun to see a few restaurant reviews for takeout, but if I want to see more, I’m going to have to contribute my own. So last night, Nate, Alex, and I had a hankering for the food from China City in Mill Creek, Washington. This restaurant did receive a takeout review within the past week, but it wasn’t a good review. That reviewer did not like the food. Maybe they were having an off night—who knows? That review did not stop me from picking up the phone and ordering for the family. Our takeout experience was, in my humble opinion, 5 stars.
Here’s my review: (It is not posted on Google or anywhere else public, except for this blog.)
ckspicy007! “Super Tasty Takeout in Easy-to-Open Containers” (Five Stars)
Earlier in the day, it was raining, so our quarantine plans of mowing the lawn were shot. Fast-forward a few hours, and we all got a huge hankering for the food from China City in Mill Creek. (Missed lawn-mowing opportunities will do that to you.) We were not disappointed at all—with the food—or the curbside pickup/ordering. Here is a detailed breakdown of our experience:
–Our teenage son drove the car for the first time in a month, and it was kind of scary. He’s normally a really good driver, just a little out of practice. In all fairness, he did get the hang of driving again by the time we reached the curbside pickup. He did great parking the car!
–Curbside pickup was fast and friendly. Everyone is wearing masks these days, but I think we were all smiling. (I was at least.)
–The food was smelling great in the car, until we turned on the air conditioning and the odor made me think that maybe the car was on fire. I’d never been so scared in my life. We solved the problem by turning the air conditioning off. (The car did not catch on fire, which was a plus.)
–The containers for our food were super easy and convenient to open. We didn’t have any problems at all. Everything we ordered was there—including more things we did not order like fortune cookies and packets of soy sauce, which I thought about keeping in case soy sauce becomes the new hoarding trend. I can’t keep up with the hoarding trends these days. They change all of the time.
–Hubby ordered a cocktail, which also came in a very convenient bottle—pre-mixed. He was able to open that one pretty well, but when he thought he’d get adventurous and open the grenadine bottle from our refrigerator, well things got sticky. He spilled everything all over the place and we all had to wait for him to clean it up before we could sit down to eat.
–We ordered food at a spice level of “6,” so our food was very, very, very, very, very, very spicy, which meant that to us, it was very, very, very, very, very, very good.
–Atmosphere-wise, things went downhill. I noticed stuff in my house that needed to be cleaned. The family cat circled us like a shark until we cut up tiny pieces of non-spicy chicken and fed it to him. Also, I had to get up at least two times to get my own beer from the fridge. Shouting, “Someone get me a beer!” didn’t help at all. This would never happen in the restaurant itself.
–At the end of the meal, we ate our fortune cookies. Everyone else got great fortunes but me. Mine said something about apologizing and reading books. I already do these things. How are they “fortunes?” I think I actually said something like, “I ought to apologize to this beer,” but Hubby heard, “Twerking for Steves,” which sounded nothing like what I said in the first place. “That sounds like a terrible memoir of working for Rick Steves as a Twerker,” I said. “I don’t think that would ever happen. That is a memoir no one would write.” Then, Hubby started twerking at the table. Again, this would never happen if we were sitting in an actual booth in the China City restaurant.
–To sum up: The food was wonderful and tasty. I just wish the house were a little more atmospheric and that perhaps we could all try to remember how we would behave if we were seated in a booth at an actual restaurant.
Your Turn: Have you had any good takeout/delivery experiences lately?