A loud, ominous Hot Oil Alarm has been added to the Fixin’ Leaks and Leeks armory of safety protocols, and its terrifying sound would send even whales and sharks into a stupefied panic. Feel free to click on this link here, to have a listen: (Extreme Alarm Sound Effect YouTube)
If you ask me, frying things in oil deserves an alarm that’s way more spectacular sounding than a regular Craft Alert. You see, I have a deep, dark cooking confession to make. I’ve never actually fried anything on my own without supervision from my parents. I always imagined that, left to my own devices, the entire kitchen would erupt into flames, the minute I filled a pot with oil and turned the heat on—and there I’d be, running around while trying to save the cat and find my bra. However, a very important member of the Fixin’ Leaks and Leeks Team (Alex) just turned 18, and he wanted some fried pickles, so how could I refuse my own son’s request on his birthday? I’d just have to buckle myself in tight and heat a pot of oil on my own for once in my life. If I could give birth, I could definitely fry a pickle or two. (Ah. . . 18 years ago, the Birth Alarm went off. Such good memories. I think the alarm sounded something like this: “Nate! Get up! I’m leaking! I’m leaking! The baby kicked the door down! This is happening!!”)
In any case, everything cooking-wise turned out fine—for us. Not the pickles, though. They got fried.
Here are the steps I used to make these pickles, in case you want to sound the Hot Oil Alarm in your house and put some Vlasics on notice:
–One jar of dill pickle “stackers” (They are long, oval-shaped slices that run the length, rather than the width of the cucumber.)
–Two eggs, slightly beaten with a fork
–1 ½ cups of all-purpose flour
–22 ounces of canola oil
–Take the pickles out of the jar and place them onto paper towels. Pat them dry.
–Dip the pickles into the flour first. Then, dip them into the eggs and back into the flour.
–Heat up the oil and cook 2-3 slices at a time for about a minute.
–Place the fried pickles onto paper towels to drain.
Results: These pickles were absolutely amazing. The batter turned out very light, almost like Tempura. They were gone in no time.
Other amazing parental feats that Nate and I carried out for Alex’s birthday:
–Two-hour Zoom dance party with Cecilia’s side of the family.
–Alex Trivia and Photo Slide Presentation, which also played the “Now That We’re Men” song from the SpongeBob movie—all masterminded by Nate and transmitted via Zoom, with Nate’s side of the family.
–A delicious sushi dinner out, cake, and presents.
We are exhausted, yet happy. The house is also still in one piece, but:
Pickles everywhere are crying
‘cause I’m suddenly super awesome at frying.
In Other News: Alex’s artwork was published in a couple of literary magazines on his birthday! A gorgeous flower painting of his can be found here, in Riggwelter’s 28th issue, page 22: Hibiscus of Paradise. And, a really cool ceramic koi fish piece that he made can be found here, in the Spank the Carp gallery.
Your Turn: What is your favorite cooking method for preparing your favorite foods? (Boiling, baking, frying, etc.)