Today, my most outrageously festooned hat, upon which a ten-inch-high stuffed swan of multicolored feathers is perched, has been mistakenly served as the main course for someone else’s Mother’s Day tea, so I’m wearing a baseball cap and pajamas instead. I plan on sauntering out into the yard and indulging myself in a low-key “tea party” of sorts. The problem is: I don’t have a ridiculously awesome tea set that would take this day full throttle.
But: I can treat myself to ordering a tea set online because I absolutely need one more thing to wrap carefully, stuff away in a closet for a few years, and then rewrap so that it can take up space in a moving van someday.
After at least one hour of searching images online, I’ve finally narrowed my choices down to four. Here they are:
–There’s a tin unicorn tea set on sale at Amazon for $19. The advantages are the price, the unbreakable nature of tin (I hold my tea parties at maximum capacity and full force), and the wacky cool colors and pictures (the unicorn’s facial expression is priceless: like it’s simultaneously soaking in a tub and eating the most fantastic cheesecake morsel it has ever tasted in its life.). However, the most recent customer comments indicate that perhaps this set is intended (out of safety and practical reasons) for cartoon Disney mice with a raging tea habit.
–An “Empire Peony” tea pot that is just so frilly and floral, I can’t help but try to carry it “en pointe.” It’s a bit pricier at $35, and it’s designed for just one person—which means everyone else I might invite would have to get whatever survives from the tin unicorn tea set above.
–A ceramic panda tea set for $37. I have no words. It’s the cutest thing I’ve ever seen, but the picture that displays the item shows someone bringing it to work. What a turn-off! I don’t want to think about work when I’m drinking tea. Obviously, I want to think about pandas.
–A ceramic strawberry tea pot for about $40. This is the most I’d spend for anything shaped like a strawberry. I once considered buying a dress in a boutique shop that had strawberry colors and a green polka-dotted top, but when I put it on, the bottom of the dress poofed out and then cinched in with elastic gathering. I literally looked like a strawberry. No thanks. Strawberries are to be shaped into tea pots, not worn.
In any case, I won’t be using any of those tea pots today, but my low-key tea party will involve some easy tea sandwiches, good quality shortbread cookies, and store-bought mini quiches from the Martha Stewart line—because this mother is on her own: Nate got his second shot of Moderna (yay!) but he’s sick (boo!). Alex is working on calculus, and the cat is wondering where the swan on my hat has gone.
So, away to the yard I’ll go—with dainty pastries and a beer can in tow.
Your Turn: Get in on the fun! Which tea set should I order? Why?