Amidst a heat wave-induced brownout, I noticed that the potato masher was missing from the Fixin’ Leaks and Leeks kitchen, and I needed it so that I could sneak up on four bananas and turn them into banana bread. If they saw the blender (which was already occupied for making piña coladas), they’d run for sure, but a potato masher doesn’t look as intimidating, so you can imagine my frustration when I couldn’t find it.
Nate and I scoured the kitchen for the potato masher, to no avail, so we came up with a few theories:
–The electrical company manufactured a heat wave in order to plan a brownout, sneak into the kitchen, steal just the potato masher, wrap it in tin foil, strap it to the roof of the electrical power headquarters, and signal life forms from outer space while laughing and drinking beer.
–It’s in my purse.
–It’s on my face (like my glasses, when I’m looking for them).
–The dryer ate it and will spit it out a year or two later, along with a few socks that have gone missing too. (I’ll just have to be patient.)
We still have not solved the mystery, but I’m happy to report that a pastry knife will work just as well if your potato masher has been stolen for nefarious reasons, and the blender is blending tropical drinks—or if you have bananas that look like they will skip town.
Despite the tension rising in the kitchen like a steam bath of uncertainty, the banana bread turned out great! I followed the recipe for Skinny Banana Bread by Lauren Allen, but I used egg substitute for the egg and reduced-fat margarine for the butter.
Fresh from the oven, the bread was packed full of banana flavor. Also, we pretty much devoured the loaf in one sitting—partly because it was that good—but also because we thought we might find the potato masher inside.
And. .. we did NOT find the potato masher inside. It’s still missing, but I wouldn’t put it past myself to drop a potato masher into bread batter, bake it up, and announce that the prize inside was something I had totally intended. Meanwhile, I’m telling the Fixin’ Leaks and Leeks team to check my purse for the TV remote, and now that I think of it—we should check the couch cushions, one last time, for the potato masher.
In Other News: I have a couple more stories out:
“Stray Hairs” is a dark, experimental story that you can read on pages 6-7 of Streetcake Magazine’s 73rd issue, part 2.
“Muzak” is a quirky story in Tiny Molecules. The editors called it “deadpan weirdness,” which is one of the best compliments ever–for me, anyway.
Your Turn: What are items that you constantly lose? Where do you find them?