DIY Massage

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An artillery of relaxation devices arrived in the mail, and I just unleashed their powers on my sore muscles, made all wonky by a single dose of the shingles vaccine. (It has been a wild week.) In other words, I got one of those “massage guns,” which sounds like an aggressive way to practice the art of massage on oneself. Here it is in a sentence: “When the plumbing in the house exploded, I was in such distress, that I pulled out a massage gun and pressed it directly onto my very tensed-up buttocks, and I pulled the trigger multiple times, at various speeds, using several different kinds of attachments.”

In my shingles vaccine-fevered mind, sentences like the one above ran through my head in a loop, until I forced myself to do some research and buy a massage gun, which came in the mail in a lovely kit, with various attachments.

So, why give a massage gun a whirl?

–The best, free massage can be provided by either Nate or the cat, but sometimes, they’re not around, especially when the plumbing explodes, and tension just stiffens muscles.

–Athletes and runners swear by them, and athletes and runners are cool. Therefore, I need a massage gun.

–Travel is a snap with the portable, compact massage gun, which you could use in line at the TSA counter, when you feel a little tense.

When the massage gun arrived, I must admit that it looked a little intimidating—like an actual weapon, but I just reminded myself that it was a weapon against aches and pains. Once I thought of it that way, I felt confident enough to open the instructions and read the safety warnings, which included all of the usual things: keep away from genitals, children, and water. All of my kitchen appliances come with the exact same warning, so no biggie there.

Different attachments are for different areas—from “sensitive” to “larger muscle groups,” and you can control the speed of the massage treatment you’re hoping to give yourself. The only disadvantage is that you still have to do some work—you can’t exactly fall asleep holding a massage gun to your shoulder, but here are some pro-tips:

–Play soft music in the background.

–Tape the massage gun to your shoulder, set a timer, and then move it every once in a while. (NOT RECOMMENDED IN THE OWNER’S MANUAL—I’ll let you know how it goes if I survive.)

Overall, I’m pretty impressed with the massage gun, blasting away the tension in my back. I’m switching attachments like a secret agent sent on a mission to relieve my own stress—feeling like a real 007, shooting tension with accuracy and style.

Your Turn: What do you do for aching, sore muscles?

Published by ckennedy

Author of the DIY blog: Fixin' Leaks and Leeks. Paper/Rock Writing Consultation, Sole Proprietor.

32 thoughts on “DIY Massage”

  1. Do these massage guns also make mashed potatoes and remove frozen gunk from the bottom of snowshoes? Before Investing in a new gadget, we should anticipate all the alternative uses. I only bought a “weed whip” (otherwise known as a gas-powered string trimmer) when I realized you could make a whole lot of coleslaw really fast with this thing.

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  2. So sorry to hear about your reaction! Every so often I try a professional massage therapist, but I often find that they are too gentle. On the other hand, I don’t care for the deep tissue ones, either. I guess I’m a Goldilocks. 😉

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    1. Thanks, Lynette! It’s been rough. The COVID vaccines (1 and 2) didn’t affect me very much at all, and the booster shot was just soreness in my arm, but the shingles shot–wow! I’m dreading going back for the second dose.

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  3. In response to your question: There’s this liniment in the Philippines called Efficascent Oil. I put a small amount on one hand, rub it on both palms and massage the target areas. A variant of the liniment with lavender oil is also being sold — purported to promote a good night’s sleep.

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  9. Ken got really sick from the shingles shot as well, so I feel for you. I’m lucky that he’ll drop everything and rub THC or CBD cream into my should whenever I ask him to. I tried one of those over the shoulder massage things but it was so heavy! Glad this one is working for you!

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    1. Heating pads are great! Yes, the shingles shot has knocked me for a loop. I am not looking forward to the second dose, but I’d rather not have shingles. I hear it’s a lot, lot worse. Cheers!

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