Lately, something strange has entered my gleaming glass cookie jar, and I can’t stop looking at it, every time I pass by my otherwise neat and tidy kitchen. While there are still a half dozen happy little cookies that cling to the sides of the jar and say, “Here I am! Look at me!” another edible (snack?) has snuck in, and I don’t know what to make of it. What I’ve discovered is a bread heel that kind of floats about in the jar, and I can’t look away.
How did the bread get in there? Perhaps, on a late-night snack spree, the bread dislodged itself from the Mother-Loaf and crawled in with the cookies for a rip-roaring slumber party that involved watching The Gingerdread Man horror film and prank calling the Little Debbie Headquarters (“Are you okay? ‘Cause I’m feeling crumby.”) But what really happened was Nate. He ran a search on his phone that probably went something like this: How do you keep cookies fresh and soft in the cookie jar? And whammo!! An aspiring Martha-Stewart, with a heart of Betty Crocker, came up with this aesthetically pleasing and appetizing solution: Stick a heel of bread in the jar.
So, the deed was done. Four hours later, I checked on the cookies. The jar was humid, and the cookies were starting to soften, which meant that a mild Florida-like condensation had taken over, and I should keep my eye out for afternoon thunderstorms brewing near the lid. In other words, the cookies and that heel of bread have created a vacation home of sorts, and I feel like I’ve got an RV parked permanently on the countertop. A see-through RV with a piece of bread stuck to the bottom and a bunch of cookies lounging on it. Ah, the kitchen of my dreams!
In Other News: Please enjoy this creepy cryptid story that I completely made up about the Puget Sound region in Snohomish County, Washington. It’s called, “The Sound Monster,” and it was published in Not Deer Magazine. You can read it here: “The Sound Monster.”
Your Turn: What’s your favorite kitchen hack?
Fixin' Leaks and Leeks 
We do the same thing for our brown sugar when it gets too hard to use. Softens it up right away!
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Yep–that’s what I’ve heard. Cool!
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Good to know — I was just looking at a plastic bag of rock-hard brown sugar today.
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Yes–I’ve heard that it does work with brown sugar.
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Yummy cookies, who can resist these??
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🙂
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Just read The Sound Monster too. Wow, that was awesome the way you built up the suspense. I hear sounds from our own attic sometimes and now I’m a little worried!
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Thank you so much for reading! Yes–I’m hearing strange noises all over the house now–hope I haven’t brought the thing to life. If so, I’ll have to invent a hack for getting rid of Sound Monsters in the attic.
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I use an ice cream scoop to make the cookies into individual servings and freeze them. When I want a cookie, usually two, I place them on a little stoneware tray that fits in the toaster oven and bake them. Fresh cookies whenever I want them and no need to sacrifice the best part of the bread. 🙂
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Oh, I love to do that for baking–but I haven’t tried freezing them–that’s a great idea!
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Homemade frozen cookie dough. 🙂
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My grandmother always did this. I keep my cookies in a tin. Plus I typically only bake half a batch and freeze the other half as dough balls and bake them at a later time.
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That’s a great idea!
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A bread heel will work with brown sugar, too!
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Yes–very handy!
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Perhaps the Sound Monster got into the brown sugar? 🙂 A brown sugar bear, made of terra cotta, keeps my brown sugar nice and moist, but it doesn’t help after the fact, unfortunately. Your cookies look marvelous!
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Ha! Thanks!
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All I can think of is mould and rhizopus.
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That was exactly my thought as well!
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Interesting!
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Congratulations on the publication of “TheSound Monster.” I just read it. *shudder* As for kitchen hacks, I just hack at overcooked foods with dull knives.
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Thanks for reading! Ha:)
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The heels are my favorite (when they’re the end pieces of the loaf, not when they run for office) especially from fresh-baked bread. I’d toss the cookies, sorry, I mean I’d place the cookies in the cigar humidor, and eat the heel with butter and jam.
Read the unsound-mind-sound-story, yikes, it’s usually just the smell of seaweed that follows me home from the beach, scary but great writing!
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Thanks for reading!
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You have a real gift for scary tales.
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Grains of raw rice in the salt shaker.
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Yes! That’s a good one!
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