Lately, something strange has entered my gleaming glass cookie jar, and I can’t stop looking at it, every time I pass by my otherwise neat and tidy kitchen. While there are still a half dozen happy little cookies that cling to the sides of the jar and say, “Here I am! Look at me!” another edible (snack?) has snuck in, and I don’t know what to make of it. What I’ve discovered is a bread heel that kind of floats about in the jar, and I can’t look away.
How did the bread get in there? Perhaps, on a late-night snack spree, the bread dislodged itself from the Mother-Loaf and crawled in with the cookies for a rip-roaring slumber party that involved watching The Gingerdread Man horror film and prank calling the Little Debbie Headquarters (“Are you okay? ‘Cause I’m feeling crumby.”) But what really happened was Nate. He ran a search on his phone that probably went something like this: How do you keep cookies fresh and soft in the cookie jar? And whammo!! An aspiring Martha-Stewart, with a heart of Betty Crocker, came up with this aesthetically pleasing and appetizing solution: Stick a heel of bread in the jar.
So, the deed was done. Four hours later, I checked on the cookies. The jar was humid, and the cookies were starting to soften, which meant that a mild Florida-like condensation had taken over, and I should keep my eye out for afternoon thunderstorms brewing near the lid. In other words, the cookies and that heel of bread have created a vacation home of sorts, and I feel like I’ve got an RV parked permanently on the countertop. A see-through RV with a piece of bread stuck to the bottom and a bunch of cookies lounging on it. Ah, the kitchen of my dreams!
In Other News: Please enjoy this creepy cryptid story that I completely made up about the Puget Sound region in Snohomish County, Washington. It’s called, “The Sound Monster,” and it was published in Not Deer Magazine. You can read it here: “The Sound Monster.”
Your Turn: What’s your favorite kitchen hack?