Taking interior decorating to a wacky new level of weird, I believe, can be healthy for a marriage. Let’s face it; finding ways to add surprise and spice to a marriage is the secret to a long, happy life, so I decided to add a touch of whimsy to some of Nate’s things. I stuck googly/wiggly eyes on his desk chair and on a can of shaving cream in the drawer in the bathroom. He was actually okay with it—even amused, but somewhat disappointed that I didn’t do more.
But, I have packages and packages of wiggly eyes, so I smell a couple’s project! This weekend, we could redecorate the house with wiggly eyes. And here’s why it’s healthy:
- I hate the couch in the living room. Of course, I loved it when we first bought it, but I’m pretty sure the cat has done things to it at night, and it’s somewhat faded. We don’t want to spend the money right now on a new couch, which could be a source for arguments to bloom, but we CAN give it a lift with a pair of wobbly eyes. Problem solved. No arguments.
- I also hate our see-through window pantry door. It’s a lovely touch, if you don’t pile chips and cereal boxes and medicine and weightlifting protein powder tubs all haphazardly everywhere, forming a nest for wildlife. Nate and Alex are willing to tidy it up, and I pitch in as well, but why? Why are we tidying up a pantry? It’s only because it has see-through windows! Covering those windows in wiggly eyes solves the problem. How can you stay mad at the cutesy-wootsy wiggly eyes? How?
- The front door is impossible to open—so is the door by the kitchen/garage. Entering the house, from any possible entranceway, leads to all kinds of frustration and pointless accusations:
“Did you pour glue in the lock?”
“Why would I pour glue in the lock?”
“Did you use your mind powers to make the doors all wonky?”
“No, I used them to shift the foundation of the house, thus setting the doorframe slightly askew.”
As you can see, we’re getting nowhere with this issue. Slapping some wiggly eyes on the all the entrances/exits would serve as a reminder that even stubborn doors are capable of being unexpectedly cute.
So there, the three biggest issues that could threaten a marriage: couches, see-through pantries, and stubborn doors—are all swept under the rug with a wacky creation renovation. Except, the eyes—they follow you everywhere—and they saw you using your mind powers to replace the cabinet pulls with Princess Leia action figures—and they don’t think it’s cool at all.
Your Turn: If you could put wiggly eyes on anything in your house or office, would you? What would you put them on?