After a rump-numbing, two-hour wait at the Washington/Canadian border, you’ll have plenty of time to avoid all of the traditional touristy things in Vancouver because they will all close in one hour and the line to see them will be at least two hours long. This situation eliminates the pressure of having to see the… Continue reading What to See When you Have 5 1/2 Hours in Vancouver, Canada

Those adrenalin-pumping, heart-stopping, hug-the-curves-with-the-car, hang-on-tight-to-the-door-handle days of motherhood are here, and I think I need a rear-facing car seat. I thought morning sickness went away for good, but it comes back when a child gets a learner’s permit. Luckily, since I’ve done my part by giving birth, my husband Nate will take over the driver’s… Continue reading Jesus, Take the Wheel! My Son is Driving!

When the Wild, Wild West of Eastern Washington calls, we have no choice, but to hitch up the Subaru, throw a sitter at the cat, and see if we have what it takes to rough it at the Sun Mountain Lodge Resort and Spa—drawing on the history of sturdy pioneers who braved seaweed body treatments… Continue reading The Most Ambitious Sun Mountain Lodge Vacation Itinerary. Ever.

For a crippling case of “the willies,” order a frog in a box, and see what happens when it arrives on an otherwise perfectly pleasant Saturday afternoon. The box in question, which I actually ordered on purpose, comes complete with a preserved specimen lurking inside. Since my delicate sanity could instantly go wayward with the… Continue reading Biology Class Redemption Day

Throw down a steady, pulsing drum beat in a crowded street and I’ll take off running after it—like I escaped from the set of a spectacularly low-budget, low-expectations community theater rendition of Fame. “Could you take it down a notch? Maybe not end up in the parade this time?” Nate asks when we arrive at… Continue reading A Dragon Fest Celebration To-Do List: Make “Naked Rosemary Lemonade” and Join a Dragon Boat Racing Team

When the sky hits your eye—and hair and legs—with fiery pellets from the fallout of extremely enthusiastic fireworks displays, that’s “amore,” Fourth of July style in my neighborhood. The action starts off innocently enough around lunchtime with a few blasts, which really makes that boring peanut butter sandwich taste so much more—I don’t know? Dangerous?… Continue reading The Freedom Fountain and Other Things I’ll Make Next Year, July 4th

Between intermittent rounds of fireworks, which add much-needed excitement to the lull between June 30th and July 4th, I can hear the windowsill of my home office complaining. It has just about had it with me because it has not seen anything “interesting” since the cilantro plant incident of August 2017, in which an otherwise… Continue reading The Windowsill Wants a Container Garden

Tall, dry spindly things are poking up out of the lawn and I’m seriously concerned about them. I swear they’re talking smack every time I walk by—saying things like, “You think you can take us down? Really?” And that’s when I just go crazy and start training at water aerobics for 50 minutes a day,… Continue reading Show the Lawn Who’s Boss: Mow it!

An unexpected and horrible side effect of strawberry picking is the urge to clean out the freezer. I’ve fought this urge valiantly over the past year and a half—scoffing at loose frozen vegetables that are rolling about the bottom bin. I just cover them with stray Popsicles, but eventually a tower of frozen pizzas and… Continue reading Strawberry Picking Results in Organized Freezers, Homemade Muffins, and Bramping

My underpants helped me lose a humorous writing contest in a most spectacular way. This year’s Erma Bombeck Writing Contest, which would be judged by THE Dave Barry—for a few lucky finalists—prompted me to write about the time my underpants were destroyed. I laughed while I wrote. I laughed when I read the essay out… Continue reading How To Recycle Underpants