Fixin' Leaks and Leeks

The craft alarm, which sometimes sounds like a retching cat, prompted me to steer the Fixin’ Leeks and Leaks Team directly into the storm: the paper towel stash for the cat’s hurricane of unrecognizable aftermath (what IS the cat eating?)  and Michael’s Crafts. You see, the cat can’t resist a beautiful flower arrangement. Nate bought… Continue reading Craft Alert: Loopy Petal Spring Flowers

The pounding drums, bagpipes, and electric-guitar sounds, characteristic of the Dropkick Murphys’ style, have been blasting through the house since February 15th. Every night, when I make dinner, I’ve been selecting the Celtic punk station on Pandora, plugging in the speakers, and cooking up a raucous meal of very healthy vegetables and lean proteins. Getting… Continue reading Boozy Shamrock Shake

To create tangy, sweet-lemon sunshine from a box, it’s absolutely necessary to begin with something that doesn’t even remotely resemble an actual lemon: a bag of sand-like stuff. Just snip the top off with a pair of scissors and mix in three eggs and 1/3 cup of water. Whisk, whisk, whisk and watch the entire… Continue reading Sunshine in a Box: Lemon Bars Review

(Pencil drawing of crows by Alexander Kennedy.) To attract the mirth and excitement of a colony of crows, simply put your trash out on trash day, but make sure that the lid to the can will not close. Then, watch with delight as the crows tear apart the plastic bags and drag your trash through… Continue reading If you Want Crows, Do This

That horrible sting resulting from a “friend’s” attempt to fling a rubber band at your forehead is about 5,000 times worse when the rubber band in question is actually a strength-training contraption that’s wrapped around a chin-up bar. Since we installed a chin-up bar a few years ago in the closet of a spare bedroom,… Continue reading Stretchy Bands of Terror

To add that creepy, who-can-that-be-in-the-backyard-feeling to a cozy wintry day, build snow people who have just been stabbed in the heart and/or head. Then, pull back the curtains of the sliding glass doors near the living room, ever so slightly, and prepare yourself for endless amounts of heart-stopping fun every time you pass by to… Continue reading Things that are in my Backyard: Snow, Trees, and Bloody Valentine Snow-Humans

Fresh, colorful bowls, filled with healthy ingredients, are just the tip of something that lurks under a hunk of used dishes and about 5,000 kitchen appliances. While I’m steering the ship, I’m heading straight for it, with a beer in one hand and a crooked parsnip in the other, screaming, “I’m supposed to do what… Continue reading Use-Everything-You-Got-Bowls

Whipping up a little bistro style menu (whatever that means), sounds more like a threat than a friendly list of delicious food items, when I gather the family to make my announcement: “Tonight, I will make a restaurant-quality meal, and you will see me do it! It will be crazy and tasty and everything you… Continue reading Bistro Night Buffooneries @ the Fixin’ Leaks and Leeks Headquarters

Sliding backwards down a slippery staircase adds unnecessary excitement to the daily routine. I, for instance, have been unnecessarily excited in this manner too many times to count. Other people have noticed too—such as Nate, who suggested I get some “grippy socks.” (They’re the socks with the little plastic beads on the bottom that grip… Continue reading Grippy Socks

A leek-shaped lightning bolt whacked me in the head with an idea one day, back in 2017, when I was out flying a kite during an electrical storm in January because that’s the only way that wacky leek-y ideas will form. And here’s what I came up with: I should start a blog, and I… Continue reading Happy Birthday, Fixin’ Leaks and Leeks Blog!