Fixin' Leaks and Leeks

After a bucket of butter took a tumble from a large piece of flatbread I attempted to share with my family at a restaurant, I walked out wearing the aftermath. Two large butter stains showed up on a light jacket I used to keep the air conditioning from blasting me with a tempest of arctic… Continue reading Spot On!

A blast of orange-scented moisturizing magic flung me into another dimension, from which I might never escape. It all started when Alex finished a shift at his summer job, working for a sunglass company in the mall. The sunglass kiosk is situated in a corner of a major department store, right next to the skin… Continue reading Hands-On Experiment With Moisturizing

Taking interior decorating to a wacky new level of weird, I believe, can be healthy for a marriage. Let’s face it; finding ways to add surprise and spice to a marriage is the secret to a long, happy life, so I decided to add a touch of whimsy to some of Nate’s things. I stuck… Continue reading Spice Things Up with Wiggly Eyes: Marriage Tips

Spin your animal crackers around a whirling cloud of ice cream, until they’re foaming at the mouth with whipped cream and sprinkles—just like what you might see in nature. The result is a delightful carousel sundae, which I did not invent. Denny’s invented it, and, when I was a child, it was my reward for… Continue reading Carousel Sundae

Fresh and green and ready to take on the world, guacamole charges out of the kitchen, in a bowl, like a champion. Then, something happens. Something sad, something grayish brown and icky, creeps over the top, and you wonder if your guacamole is turning on you in the worst way. Scientifically speaking, the air does… Continue reading Guacamole Experiment

Grab a wacky tie that’s festooned with a dizzying array of rubber ducks and beer steins—and throw it in the trash! What the father-figures in your life really need is a painkiller. At least, that’s what Nate, the featured father of the Fixin’ Leaks and Leeks Team, says he wants for Father’s Day—and he has… Continue reading Father’s Day Fun!

To keep the noodles from strangling the beef jerky in our pantry, I cook with them. Noodles throw themselves at me when I go to the grocery store. There’s no other reasonable way to explain why my pantry is overflowing with pasta. When my back is turned, noodles of every shape and size rock back… Continue reading Noodling Around

The pastry parade has done a synchronized kick line past my desk at work every day now, and the pastries are most likely wondering what I’m bringing to the party. Doughnuts, lemon tarts, cakes, and pies throw themselves at me, Beauty & the Beast style, when I go into work three times a week. Since… Continue reading Respectable Strawberry Scones

A glittery, puffy marshmallow of a thing lives inside me, and it wants to decorate with girly girl sparkly flair. Today, that thing came out of me at the grocery store in the crafts aisle. It saw a bunch of pink stickers in tropical shapes, studded with shiny stuff, and just had to have them,… Continue reading Let Your Sparkle Out

A supernatural haunting—the kind where ghosts lift my computer from my desk so my neck won’t cramp—wouldn’t be so bad. However, since my house is not haunted (yet), I’ve been using the Chicago Manual of Style to prop up my computer, which presents a problem, if I actually need to use the CMOS. So, the… Continue reading Time to Elevate